


The Alibi Room

by catsoverb0ard



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Dom/sub, Domestic Violence, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I think this it, It's not as bad as it seems I swear, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Or maybe I'm just sugar coating it idk, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-05-27 01:34:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 31,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15013811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catsoverb0ard/pseuds/catsoverb0ard
Summary: Twenty-three-year-old Alex Gaskarth is no stranger to fear; growing up with an abusive father and unstable bi-polar mother has left him scarred emotionally as well as physically. He tries his hardest to keep the monsters at bay, drugs, alcohol, and sex are his go-to coping mechanisms.Jack Barakat is twenty-five-years-old and he's had his life mapped out since he was sixteen; marry the man of his dreams, help others any way that he can and adopt one or two kids along with a dog. So far the only thing he's achieved is becoming a counselor at an LGBT youth group and drinking his life away. But that's fine, he's fine.Everything is going a-okay for these two men,until they meet each other that is.





	1. Drunken Lovers

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I am currently working on his fic along with a friend of mine(you can find this story on Wattpad where it is originally posted) Technically speaking this was my friend's idea and story, that was until she asked me for help once or twice and before we knew it this became our story. If you like sad gay boys and dramatic affairs then this just might be for the fic for you(I promise it gets better in time. Maybe.)
> 
> PS this story will get graphic at times

Alex has almost always known fear. Growing up with an abusive father and an alcoholic mother can seriously take a toll on a child. No one really knows about the damage done to his mind. The only one who cared enough to find out was his older brother, Tom. He died years ago, Alex doesn't talk about him anymore. Now, twenty-three years old and away from his parents. Alex is living on his own and completely faking it, more so than others.

He's never really experienced, love. The feeling is completely foreign to him. No one has ever tried to break his walls down. Until, he met the man that made his chest flutter for the first time, just with his smile. He knew from the moment he set eyes on Jack, he wanted him.

\---

**Present Day:**

 

Alex tapped his fingers mindlessly on his desk, staring at the computer screen in front of him with a blank expression. He was bored. When he gets like this, he tends to listen to the chatter in his head. Which, is never really a good idea, nothing good ever comes of it.

He shakes his head, dismissing the thoughts that were starting to turn dark. He needed something but, he couldn't quite put his finger on what. With a defeated sigh, he stood from the office chair he was currently sitting in, grabbed his tattered jean jacket from his bed, and walked out of his apartment. He needed a drink to clear his head.

Walking down the busy city streets, Alex soon found himself in front of a bar he frequented. The red, neon sign hanging above the door read, ‘The Alibi Room’. It's always filled with drunken assholes and shameless sex. He absolutely loved it here, it was the best place to get a drink and an easy fuck.

He pushed open the door and entered the noisy bar. The smell of booze-filled his nose, making his mouth practically water. Alex is what you would call, an alcoholic. The main reason he even had a job was so he could get drunk. He sat at the end of the bar, not really feeling the need to socialize with people. The bartender walked over and got out Alex's usual four shots of whiskey. He was a tall man, definitely over six foot, in his late 20's. His long, stark black hair was always pulled back in a bun. He was attractive, just not Alex's type.

"So, Alex, you're in here practically every day but, I hardly know anything about you." The bartender, Levi, spoke as he slid the four glasses towards him.

"I'm just not a people person. Sorry to disappoint." Alex smirked a bit before picking up the first glass, tossing the shot back. It burned but, he was used to it.

"Well, I know that. It's just that, you're interesting. Maybe that's why you don't even need to try to get laid. People love a good mystery." he gave Alex a wink before walking off to tend to another customer's order.

He wasn't wrong about that. Girls were drawn to Alex, but he never slept with any of them, it's not what he's looking for. Alex was gay and for good reason. He liked to be controlled. He frequently got hit on by guys too, but he never really found anybody that could satisfy him. Everyone around here was too vanilla for his tastes.

After Alex's sixth shot, someone took the seat next to him. A guy to be exact, an attractive one. Alex took notice of the leather jacket he was wearing, along with his dark chestnut hair streaked with red. He had never felt so attracted to somebody before. He downed his last two shots, to calm his nerves.

Alex turned his head to the attractive man to his right only to meet his eyes. He was staring at him with the deepest brown eyes Alex had ever seen, with a smirk on his lips. Making him feel something strange in his chest, something foreign.

"What is a hot guy like you, doing at a bar like this?" He questioned Alex, his voice sounding like music to his ears.

"Cheap booze, mostly. I could ask you the same question."

"I was looking for something, but I think I might have just found it." With that overused pickup line, Alex called Levi over for another round of shots.

"Honestly, you can just leave the bottle so we don't have to bother you so much. Just put it on my tab." Alex spoke to the man across the bar, making him nod before setting the bottle in front of the pair.

"Have fun, kids," Levi said before tending to the other customers.

"I didn't catch your name earlier. I'm Jack." He gave the shorter boy a smile.

"It's Alex. Ready for some shots?" he returned the smile.

\--

By the time they finished the bottle, they were drunk. Jack could hold his liquor well, making Alex wonder if he drank as much as he did on a regular basis. Jack was currently tugging the caramel haired boy out the bar by his wrist, pushing past drunks just to get to the door. Alex stumbled out the door as they finally reached outside, the cold wind making him shiver. They both agreed to go back to Alex's apartment, it wasn't far but it was too cold to walk back now. They called a cab and climbed in the back seat. After Alex gave the driver the address, Jack couldn't keep his hands off of him any longer. He reached over and placed his hand on Alex's thigh, giving it a firm squeeze, making him bite his bottom lip to suppress a moan.

"That's dirty, sneaking up on me like that," Alex said with a smirk, hoping there more from where that came from.

"I'm impatient and you're extremely hot. I can't help myself." Jack spoke before leaning in, capturing the brunette's lips in a heated kiss. Alex found it to be intoxicating, even more so than the bottle of whiskey he just drank.

He lightly bites Jack's bottom lip, testing the waters. The taller man tangles his fingers in Alex's hair, pulling at it unexpectedly in response, making him moan like a whore. He loved it. They were too drunk to care about what the driver though. Suddenly the car stopped and Alex could see his apartment complex out the back window.

He paid the driver before getting out and walking to his door on the second floor, Jack following him close behind. As soon as the door was unlocked, Alex opened it pulling the taller man inside.

"Before we start. I want you to know that I'm open to most things, so feel free to get rough. Please." Alex bit his bottom lip, he was so desperate for a good fuck, and he’ll resort to begging for it if he has to.

Jack smirks, closing the door behind him before pressing Alex up against it. He then lifts his legs, hooking them around his waist, gripping his thighs. "Believe me, when I'm done with you. You won't walk for a week."

Alex almost came right there just from the pure excitement he felt. His jeans were starting to become painful. Jack leaned in again and kissed him, a lot rougher than earlier. He bites Alex's bottom lip, tugging at it lightly before trailing kisses along his jawline to his neck. The shorter boy moaned as his lips brushed over a sensitive spot in the nape of his neck. Jack began to suck against the soft flesh, giving him his first bruise of the night.

"J-Jack,” Alex stuttered out his name, wanting nothing more than to start removing clothing. He moved his hands to the bottom of Jack's shirt, tugging up on it a bit. He pulls away from Alex's neck to pull his shirt over his head before smirking at the flustered boy pressed against him.

"Where's your bedroom?"

"Down the hall, first door to the right." Alex didn't hesitate with an answer, wrapping his arms loosely around Jack's neck.

Once Jack carried him to the bedroom, he practically dropped him on the bed. He gave Alex an almost sadistic smirk before speaking.

"Strip." Alex sat up, instantly obeying the man in front of him. He tugs his shirt over his head before quickly trying to get rid of his tight jeans. Leaving him in nothing but his underwear, his erection trying to spring free from its confinement. He looks back up at Jack, watching his hands undo his belt. Without a second thought, Alex found himself situated at the end of the bed, in front of where Jack was currently standing.

Alex took over the task, unbuttoning Jack's jeans with nimble fingers, pushing them down along with his boxers. He only pushed them down far enough to free Jack's cock, taking it in his cool hands.

"Eager, I love it.." Jack reached down, hooking a finger underneath Alex's chin, tilting his gaze up to meet his lust-filled one. "Now suck it, like a good boy."

Alex could feel his mouth water and his dick twitch from excitement. He looked away from Jack's lustful stare, shifting it back to the erection in his hands. Alex had given plenty of blowjobs, but he felt nervous this time. He gently ran his tongue over the head, making Jack tangle his fingers in Alex's caramel brown hair. Alex looks up at Jack through his lashes before taking him in his warm mouth. Expertly, he moves at a good rhythm, letting Jack's cock hit the back of his throat.

"Faster, slut," Jack demanded, gripping Alex's hair, pushing his head further down on his throbbing cock. Alex easily took the whole 7 inches in his mouth, showing how much of a slut he truly is. Jack let out a low groan, his eyebrows knitting together in pleasure as Alex obeyed and pick up his pace.

Alex was painfully hard, but he didn't touch himself. The pain was pleasure enough to hold him over. Jack pulls Alex away from his cock by his hair. He wouldn't have lasted much longer in Alex's mouth, his tongue was like velvet.

"Take off your underwear and get on your hands and knees for me." Alex nodded in a daze, taking his last article of clothing off before once again doing as he's told. He spreads his legs and presents his ass like a whore. Jack took off his pants, retrieving a pre-lubed condom from his wallet. He raked his eyes over Alex's body in the most vulnerable position. He still stood at the bottom of the bed, pulling Alex to the edge by his hips. Jack rested his hands on Alex's ass before squeezing it roughly then, spreading it apart. Alex bit down on his bottom lip, suppressing his needy whines. He then felt Jack's tongue against his hole, making him moan from the unexpected feeling.

"That's what I want to hear. Moan like a whore for me." Jack spoke in a husky voice, his voice making Alex practically tremble with excitement. He felt Jack's tongue tease him again, making him grip the bedsheets beneath him. His moans only fueled Jack's lust further.

Jack pulled away, giving Alex a chance to speak, "Y-you don't have to stretch me..if you don't want.."

"What a sweet, little masochist you are, Lex," Jack smirked using the nickname he gave Alex at the bar. "But, I don't think I can give you anything else until you beg for it."

Alex hated begging, even though he gets off on it. It was embarrassing but, that's the whole point of being a masochist. To get off on humiliation and Jack knew that. By now Alex is too frustrated to care. He was a good boy earlier, he deserved this.

"Just fuck me," Alex muttered growing frustrated with the older man.

Jack smirked down at the boy's trembling body, his back arched and ass displayed perfectly. "That doesn't sound like something my good boy would say," Jack tutted as he spread open with both hands. "Looks sweet," he whispered mostly to himself staring at Alex's pink hole.

"Jack," Alex whined. "I was being so good, please," his voice cracked at the end.

Snorting, Jack shook his head and dipped a finger into him. "That's not begging, hun. You're beginning to hurt my feelings."

Jack allowed the smaller boy to rock back on to his finger for a moment or two before quickly withdrawing the digit.

"Beg."

It was like something inside Alex broke, perhaps he'd blame it on the alcohol once his mind cleared but for now all he could think about was the emptiness he felt.

"Please daddy I need your cock," he gasped out. "I'll be such a good boy, I promise. Please fuck me, please plea-"

Alex cut his own self off with a loud moan. With all his begging Alex hadn't had paid mind to the older man rummaging through his bedside table in search for lube. Two slick fingers now were deep inside of him.

"Can't wait to fuck this hole," Jack hissed twisting his fingers. "Daddy's gonna fuck his slut," he promised and added another finger.

Alex's mind felt hazy, he's never felt this good and he hasn't even made it to the main course yet. He rocked back on Jack's fingers, making his legs feel like jelly.

"Are you ready for daddy's cock?" Jack asked as he withdrew his fingers from Alex's wanting hole.

Alex drew a shaky breath before answering him in his neediest voice, "Please. Please fuck me, daddy."

Hearing the taller man tearing open a packet and fumbling with a latex condom, Alex buried his face into his pillow and wiggled his hips in anticipation.

Once Jack rolled the condom on his length and applied another coating of lube he focused on his main task. After placing a large hand on the smaller man’s back, Jack began to guide his cock into Alex.

Alex dug his teeth into his bottom lip to stop the first few loud moans before it slipped into a whine as Jack bottomed out.

Jack allowed Alex time to adjust although all the Lebanese man wanted to do was thrust into the warmth and chase his own release; of course, he wasn't going to let the other man know this.

"Jack," Alex whined again. "Fucking move already," he demanded as he began to move forward allowing the cock inside of him to slip out of him for an inch.

Jack watched Alex fuck himself back on his cock for a minute and smirked in amusement when the boy began to grow more frustrated.

"What the hell? I said to fuck me already! Come on."

Coming to the conclusion that he was done playing games, Jack's hand that was once stroking the slightly freckled back pushed down and the hand on his waist gripped hard enough to leave bruises.

"Listen here princess," he started. "I thought we already played this game? If l you want daddy's cock you gotta be good."

Slowly Jack slipped out of the tight heat he craved before slamming his cock back in. Jack kept up the motion of slipping his penis all of the way out before thrusting deep back inside.

Ignoring the grunts coming from Alex, Jack continued to hold the smaller boy down and with one hand bruising his hip now sped his pace. Soon enough he had a built a steady rhythm.

"Shit," Alex breathed out, half of the face still buried in his pillow. "Pound me harder."

"Such a brat," Jack tsked out. "Always so demanding," he commented sliding his hand up his back making it's way to its destination. Jack ran his fingers through the caramel colored hair and gave a sharp tug, just experimenting.

Alex let out a needy whimper and Jack moaned in response.

"Should have known daddy's slut likes his hair pulled." Experienced fingers tangled themselves through the sweaty strands and practically yanked causing another whorish moan.

"Daddy, daddy," Alex called out. "Fuck, so good."

Tugging on the locks a few more times the older man's hand found itself reaching in front and stroking the smaller cock.

Whimpering Alex hid his face into his pillow completely and gripped the sheets, body begging for a release.

"D-addy," he stuttered. "Need to-"

"Come on princess," Jack cut him off. Gripping tighter Jack let Alex fuck the tight space between his hand and, fuck back on the older man's cock.

"Come for daddy."

Alex let out a noise in-between a moan and a whimper and, it made Jack want to keep him.

"Feel like a fucking virgin you're so tight," Jack grunted feeling the man's walls tighten and liquid spilling into his hand.

Alex whimpered as Jack squeezed his dick once more before letting go. His lax body accepted the man's cock and his mouth opened for the fingers that were suddenly in front of his face.

Sliding two fingers into the fucked out boys mouth, Jack cursed seeing Alex suck on the warm salty substance that he produced. Closing his eyes Jack pounded into the pliant body underneath him and thrust his fingers inside the warm mouth.

"So good," he growled, thrusts erratic. Fingernails digging into delicate flesh, Jack tensed behind Alex. He made a squeaking sound as Jack removed his spent cock from his sore hole.

Alex's sluggish body pulled himself together after Jack resorted to the bathroom. Rummaging through his dresser, Alex pulled out a pair of sweatpants and a black jumper to beat the cold that constantly racked his body.

When Alex was fully dressed, he allowed his mind to wander off in his own world of fear and paranoia. Despite being used to these feelings Alex was in full wonder and panic when the feelings of longing settled in. Shivering the boy closed his eyes; in his imagination long arms would wrap around his anemic body and chase away the cold.

A sudden knock had Alex widening his eyes in a quick motion. Blinking a few times brown orbs settled on the tall figure clothed in jeans and a jacket that Alex was sure the man didn't have when they got here.

"You know I've had my fair share of ass but I gotta say that was incredible."

Alex had the urge to bite his fingernails.

Jack awkwardly threw his hands in the air signaling a peace sign. The older man preferred when his hookups fell asleep not too long after the sex, too tired and the brink of sobering up. This was not one of the moments where he could slip away without a word to the sleeping stranger.

"Wait!" Alex blurted out wanting to kick himself. "I mean," he trailed off noticing the raised eyebrow from the other man. "I'm pretty hot, I know and if you ever wanna fuck again. I'd be down." He shrugged at the end hoping he came off as nonchalant, rather than desperate.

Alex wasn't sure why his palms felt sweaty handing over his cell phone on Jack's request. When Jack was done typing in his contact information in the phone was handed back to the younger male and, Alex is not subtly hurried to call the number.

A faint ringtone and vibration buzzed from Jack's jean pocket.

"I'll text or whatever," and with that Jack was gone.

Alex wasn't sure why he asked for his phone number, nor why he was sad to watch the man leave.

Jack wasn't sure why he had given his information away but, maybe he'll find out.

\--

Hours later Alex found himself not being able to sleep. He was always like this, especially after sex. He'd normally resorted to reading to occupy his mind. But he feared if he read one of his normal romances, he'd end up in tears.

His mind wandered back to Jack, back to their conversation at the bar, before they got drunk. They had a lot in common, maybe that's why Alex was so interested in him. Maybe it was the great sex. He couldn't really tell, he was new to the whole, being infatuated with someone.

He learned from reading what love is supposed to feel like and, he got that feeling in his chest like someone does when they have feelings for another. His lack of knowledge about the feeling frustrated him to no end.

These thoughts transitioned into dark thoughts as he began to hate himself. 'Stupid boy, the only reason he gave you his number was for sex. Don't go off thinking there's a chance someone could love you.'

"You're right, I'm just being stupid," Alex responded out loud to the voice in his head, holding back tears. Alex stood from his bed, walking to the bathroom. He looks at himself in the mirror, the purple bruise on his neck was a reminder of what happened mere hours ago. Alex drew a heavy sigh and picked up his sleeping medication. He contemplated on taking the whole bottle before choosing against it, taking two.

He wandered back to his warm bed, climbing in under the blankets. He wrapped his arms around his small frame, desperately wanting them to be someone else's. He just hopes the medication kicks in before he decides to hurt himself.

Thankfully, it did.


	2. First (Twice) Time's The Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> little angst, alex's self-loathing is always present, and then smut because that's how we operate

**Ten years ago** :

 

Alex sat in the middle of his bed, wanting nothing more than to listen to music to drown the sound of yelling out. He couldn't, his father broke his mp3 player his aunt bought him for Christmas a couple years back. It was the only thing he had besides the necessities, clothes (hand-me-downs from his brother), a bed, a place to stay. Needless to say, he didn't have much. The only reason he had things for school was because of his older brother, Tom. He got a job last year, he promised Alex he'd get enough money so they could run away.

He laid back on his bed, pulling a pillow over his head. He could hear breaking glass downstairs before footsteps coming up the stairs. 'Oh no, someone's coming.' Alex thought, getting off his bed. 'I'm scared.'

Alex wanted to run and lock his door but his father already removed the doorknob weeks prior. All he could do was cower in a corner. His back hit the wall, as his father entered the room. He was a tall man with wide set shoulders, which made him intimidating. Alex was small compared to him considering he's just now hitting puberty.

"Alex, where's your brother? He's late getting home, again. I know you know where he's at." his father had an evil look on his face as he questioned him. Tom's job is a secret if their parents knew he had money and didn't give it to them. He'd be in so much trouble.

"I-I don't know w-here he's at, I s-swear.," Alex answered frantically. He didn't want his father to hit him but he knew it was coming. His father stormed over to him, grabbing his arm before pulling him downstairs to the living room, where his mother was waiting. She had a cigarette in her shaky hand, taking a drag off of it. She looked strung out on whatever kind of meds she was taking that week.

His father lets go of his arm, walking over to where his wife was standing.

"Alex, sweetie," his mother began to speak, her voice sounding aggravated and on edge, "just tell us where Tom is and, I promise daddy won't hurt you tonight."

Alex shifted his terrified gaze from his parents to the floor, he couldn't tell them, it was their only chance of getting away. He stayed silent.

"Answer your mother, Alex."

Alex jumped at the sadistic tone of voice, stuttering out an answer, faking confidence, "I-I told you! I don't know! Stop as-"

Alex was cut off with a swift punch to the stomach from his father 'That was stupid.' Alex thought to himself as he tried his best to hide the pain as he doubled over a bit.

"You useless, disrespectful fuck! Do you have a fucking death wish?" his father asked, placing his hand around his neck, squeezing hard. Alex gasped for air, trying to pull his father's hand away from his neck. "What's the matter? Got nothing to say now?"

The sound of the front door unlocking and opening caught everyone's attention, making him let go of Alex's neck. Tom walked in, out of breath with his face red, like he ran all the way home in a hurry. He noticed Alex coughing and rubbing his neck, making his blood boil. Tom may have only been sixteen but, he was prepared to fight his father. He had to, to keep his little brother safe.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Like you fucking care." Tom practically spat venom at his father, making him go into a rage.

"Alex, I suggest you go to your room or I'm kicking your ass next."

Alex was torn, he didn't know what to do. He didn't want to be a shitty brother and leave but, he was terrified.

Tom noticed Alex's worried face and gave him a forgiving look, "It's okay Alex, just go."

He hesitated but then quickly ran up the stairs and to his room. He closed the door behind him, though it made no difference if he did or not. He sat in the furthest corner from the door, covering his ears with his hands to muffle the sounds of fighting downstairs. He just wanted to disappear..

\--

A couple of hours later Alex hears a knock on his door. Instantly, he knew who it was. His brother is the only one who knocks.

"Alex, are you awake?" he called out, peeking his head in the door.

"Yeah, I'm awake," Alex answers, sitting up in his bed.

"Good, mom and dad are gone for now. I brought you something to eat." Tom walked in, holding a plate with a simple turkey sandwich on it. But Alex couldn't be happier, he was starving. His happiness turned to sadness and guilt once he saw his older brother's face. His eye was swollen and purple, along with his lip being busted.

"Don't give me that look, it's not your fault," he spoke reassuringly to his younger brother, sitting on the side of his bed next to him. "Just eat okay?"

Tom handed him the plate which Alex took gratefully, "Thank you.."

While Alex was finishing up with his food Tom spoke up, "So, lil' bro, I got you a present. I was gonna wait until you were finished but I can't. Here."

Tom pulled out a small, silver mp3 player with headphones wrapped around it. Alex's eyes widened in shock and joy. "What, why'd you buy me a new one?" Alex was happy, yes. But, Tom said he was saving money.

"I know how much music means to you. I downloaded all your favorite bands on there, more songs than you had on your other one." he handed it to his smiling younger brother. He hadn't seen him this happy in a long time it even brought a smile to his own sore face.

"This is awesome! But, how much did it cost?.."

"Don't worry about that, just don't let mom and dad find it, alright?"

Alex nodded his head, a grin on his face. He unraveled the headphones, sticking one in his left ear, handing the other to his brother. They did this often, just sit and listen to their favorite tunes when their parents are out. It was a way to escape their reality. Or so they thought.

\---

Present Day:

Alex remembered his brother fondly as he sat on his usual bar stool at The Alibi as Simple Plan played in the background. Normally he'd get angry thinking about his brother. But it was times like these when he'd hear a song they listened to on repeat for days. That's how he wanted to remember his brother. Not cold and lifeless on his bedroom floor. Alex shook the memory from his head. Not wanting to hear the song playing anymore, he downed his shot, paid and left the bar.

He made his way outside, running a hand through his hair in frustration. He let out a sigh and pulled a pack of Marlboros from his pocket, along with a lighter. He stuck a cigarette between his lips and lit his death wish, hoping this would be the one to kill him. 'Wishful thinking.' he thought.

"Is that you Alex?" a deep voice, with a Chicago accent asked from behind Alex. He turned around to face a man he knew. His name was Dave, he was Alex's uncle (on his father's side) who used to supply his mom and dad with all kinds of drugs. They started dealing for the extra cash before Alex was even born. His once black hair was now beginning to go grey. He was a big guy, not only was he tall but he put on some extra pounds over the years. And as Alex remembers him, a kind man despite his drug use.

"Dave, why are you here?" Alex asked the man now standing in front of him.

"So that is you. Damn kid, you grew up. I was making a deal close by, be in town for a few weeks. How long's it been, 9-10 years? How's your brother doing?" The kind older man asked, oblivious to Tom's death 9 years ago.

Alex struggled to find words, "About Tom he..he died about 9 years back. He overdosed."

"Shit, I-I'm sorry, kid. I didn't know.." he looked over to the bar to their right, "let me buy you a beer. Hell, I kind of need one myself now. C'mon."

Alex smiled at the offer, "Sounds great."

They made their way over to the bar, Dave snagging the bartender for two beers. After a couple minutes of silence, Dave spoke up.

"I shouldn't have just left you, kids, there. I'm so sorry, Alex. I can't imagine what you went through with Steven as a father. And what happened to your brother, that's all on me." he wasn't one to show weakness, but he thought of them as his own children at one time. Hell, he still does.

"I used to blame myself all the time. I still do. I didn't even know he was using. I was too young to notice it. My parents are the ones to blame. Not you or me." Alex responded truthfully. He liked having someone to talk to about all this. Dave was about the only family member left that Alex could tolerate.

"You're a good kid, Alex. Surprisingly good actually. Yo-" he was cut off by his phone ringing. He pulled it out his jacket pocket and answered. "Hey, yeah..sure, sure, I'll be down in a few."

He hung up, looking over at Alex, "I gotta run but," he pulls a pen from his pocket, grabbing a napkin from the counter. He writes his number down and slides it towards Alex. "Call me if you need anything kid. I'll be around these parts for a while so, keep in touch."

"Okay, I will. Stay safe, Uncle Dave."

"Likewise, kiddo," he said before getting up, leaving the bar.

Alex folded the napkin, stuffing it in his jeans pocket so he wouldn't lose it. Levi walks over, picking up the empty bottle Dave left behind. "So Alex, you have a type I didn't know about?"

Alex choked on his beer, coughing a few times before answering, "What?! No, no gross. He's my uncle."

Levi laughed at the brunette, feeling accomplished that he got that reaction from him. "Sorry, didn't mean it plant horrible images in your head."

"It's gonna take weeks to forgot that one." Alex said before finishing his beer, "I gotta go. Here." Alex pulled a few ones from his pocket, leaving it as a tip.

"Thanks, bud. Stay safe getting home." Levi spoke as he picked up the other bottle, along with the cash. Alex stood up and headed back out of the bar.

He lit another cigarette, taking a long drag from it. Alex didn't necessarily want to go home, there was nothing there. He needed a distraction and he contemplated texting Jack, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. It had been two weeks since their night together and Alex thought he'd want to fuck again. But, Jack never texted him or called. Alex just blamed it on how fucked up he was. 'You're just a slut so, did you seriously think he'd waste his time with you? Arrogant boy.'

The voice in his head taunted him as he walked down the street. Thoughts of his brother once again invaded his mind. Alex thought about how disappointed Tom would be in him. Going down the same road he did. But, he was gone and he had been for nine years. Once he died, their father gave him twice as many beatings. Steven even went as far as to blame the seventeen-year old's death on Alex. Even if it didn't make sense, Alex's border-line sociopathic mind soaked it all in.

Alex flicked the finished cigarette out into the street before making his way into a convenience store. It was only about a block away from his apartment. He headed straight for the liquor aisle, one he visited at least once a week. He grabs a bottle of whiskey, along with a bottle of tequila.

"You having a party tonight?" a voice came from behind Alex. The same one he met in the bar two weeks ago. He turned to see Jack, a smirk playing on his lips. But Alex wasn't in the mood anymore. His mind was reaching its breaking point.

"Yeah, a party for me and my good friend depression." Alex didn't change the expression on his face. He just wanted to go home, away from people.

Jack noticed his serious tone and rather an emotionless face. Before Jack could say anything, Alex started walking away.

"Hey, Alex, wait." Jack catches up to him, putting his hand on Alex's shoulder to stop him. "Are you okay?"

Alex turns to meet Jack's eyes, he was starting to get pissed, "Don't act like you care. You don't even ‘know, know’ me. Just leave me alone."

Jack was confused, Alex was acting like a completely different person. He obviously didn't want to talk about why he was acting differently. "Right, I'm sorry.."

After Alex walks away Jack starts questioning himself. He never really concerned himself with other's feelings. What made Alex any different? Maybe it was how sad his eyes looked or, how tired his voice sounded. But, something about him interested Jack. So much he found himself pulling out his phone, looking for Alex's number in his contacts. He sent him a text simply saying, "What if we got to know each other? Would you talk then?"

Jack didn't know why he sent that text or, why he felt worried about the boy. Maybe he'll find out soon enough.

\--

As Alex was walking out of the store, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He ignores it, making his way back to his apartment. He settles on the sofa, drinking straight from the bottle of whiskey he just bought. He feels his phone vibrate in his pocket again. Confused, he pulls it out, seeing that Jack sent him two texts. 'Why would he do that now?' Alex thought as he opened the message.

'Wait, he wants to talk? Why would he want to get to know me?' Alex didn't know what to do. He's never been in this position before. No one's ever wanted to just talk to him. He was on the brink of a panic attack after reading the second text. "Are you okay?"

Alex wasn't okay, he hadn't been for almost 10 years now. No one ever bothered to ask why or try and get to know him so, why was this guy trying now? Alex contemplated what he should text back. He wanted to ask him to come over but, he was scared.

In the end, after a few more drinks from the bottle, he ended up texting Jack asking him to come over. Alex figured they could at least fuck if he didn't feel like talking.

About 20 minutes and half the bottle of whiskey later, there was a knock at Alex's door. He walked over and opened the door. Jack was standing on the other side, his hands stuffed in his pockets to keep warm.

"Hey, can I come in? It's freezing," he asked, shivering from the cold.

"Um yeah, come in," Alex said, stepping out of the way so Jack could step in the warm apartment. He closes the door behind him and walks back to the sofa, Jack following behind him. Alex sits back in his spot, looking over at Jack as he sits at the other end of the small sofa.

"Sorry, if I'm awkward. I don't normally talk to people. So, this is all new to me." Alex spoke up, making Jack look over at the fragile boy.

"It's okay. We can just talk about little things. Like when we were at the bar before we got drunk."

Alex didn't mind the sound of that, sharing likes and dislikes actually sounded a bit fun.

"Wanna drink?" Alex asked the older man, offering him the whiskey bottle, "I've been too lazy to get a cup."

"Sure," Jack took the bottle from his hand with a smirk.

\--

After more alcohol was consumed and marijuana mixed in it seemed the friendly vibe was gone. Clothes were practically ripped off and hands explored every inch of one another's bodies.

Alex watched in awe while the older man shimmied out of his jeans and sank to his knees.

Dark eyes and a faint smirk followed Alex as rough hands took hold of his pale blue boxer shorts before Jack yanked the last article of clothing Alex had on.

Alex had been on his knees plenty of times, the position that normally put the younger man in ease taunted him; Alex wasn't used to being on the receiving end of a blowjob.

Jack's large hand wrapped around the smaller member

Bobbing his head Jack never let his eyes leave the other man's face even when Jack was able to swallow all of Alex's cock.

Alex was lost in a daze of pleasure, soft gasps, and moans leaving his mouth every so often. He whined, needier than before when Jack pulled back from his length.

"Does baby boy wanna come down daddy's throat?"

Eagerly nodding his head, Alex let out a string of whimpers consisting of "yes" and "please."

Alex nearly sobbed when Jack's mouth engulfed his leaking member again. Bucking his hips experimentally Alex was engrossed in the pleasure of fucking the older man's mouth, the rough pads of Jack's fingers bruising his thighs and the scratch from his stubble adding to his lustful mind.

"Daddy, daddy," he chanted breathlessly. "I'm gonna c-," his voice choked at the end.

Jack swallowed the semen Alex released into his mouth. Sucking at the head of his penis Jack enjoyed the way it made Alex squirm before he was pulling away.

Jack once again retreated into Alex's bathroom, only this time the shaggy-haired brunette heard moans emitting from the thin walls and the slick sounds that left nothing to the imagination.

Jack Barakat was jacking his dick with thoughts of destroying the sad boy.

\--

Maybe it was a mixture of whiskey and cannabis, the extra high leaving Alex to be bolder.

"Do you want to stay the night?" He questioned as soon as Jack exited the bathroom.

Alex waited for an answer but was met with silence and a peculiar look from the older man.

According to Alex the wait for a response was too long and, his mind began to drift to unpleasant thoughts.

However, before his ludicrous thoughts could damper the night's mood. Jack answered the younger man. "I thought it was already established that this is a sleepover."

Rolling his eyes, Alex allowed a smile to grace his lips and a warm feeling entered his soul.

Alex had never felt that before. Distracted with the strange feeling in his chest, Alex doesn't notice Jack climbing back on the bed. Not until Jack's lips meet his neck. Jack wasn't sure why, but he felt the need to give the boy attention. It was almost like he knew how much Alex craved it. Jack's hands traveled to the younger's waist, gripping softly.

"Y-you said you wanted to know things about me earlier.." Alex started, turning a bit to face Jack. His face was red with embarrassment because of what he was about to confess. "I've never had anyone stay the night before. I've had plenty of sex, yeah. But I don't even kno-"

Jack cuts him off with a quick kiss, pulling back with a smile on his face. "You know, you're pretty cute when you ramble, Lex."

He felt accomplished to see the younger boy blush. He spoke up again, "Are you tired?"

"Yeah, really tired. I haven't been getting much sleep recently.."

Jack felt sympathy for the depressed boy, seeing the dark circles under his tired eyes. "Have you've ever slept in the same bed as someone?"

Alex thought back to when he was little. He got frequent nightmares between the ages of 5 and 8. His brother would normally stay with him until he fell asleep.

"No, not since I was a kid. I used to get nightmares and my older brother would stay with me." Alex spoke softly, careful not to let his emotions show. It was the first time he even mentioned he had a brother. Jack decided it'd be best to leave that topic alone.

"So, I'll be kind of like your first?" he gave Alex a stupid grin, making the smaller boy smile a bit.

"Something like that, I guess." Alex felt happy for them for the first time in years. It was like everything Jack did was to make sure he felt comfortable.

Alex gets up from the bed, walking to the discarded pair of boxer shorts he was wearing before, pulling them on.

"I'm gonna go get a shower if you don't mind."

"Go ahead. I'll entertain myself for a bit." Jack answers the younger boy with a smirk. Alex can't help but smile a bit before walking to his bathroom.

Alex didn't particularly want to smell like sweat and alcohol on the first night someone stayed over. Plus, he needed time to get his head straight. He was; needless to say, extremely nervous.

After a quick shower, Alex made his way back to his bedroom, towel around his waist. Jack watched him from the bed, which he was currently laying on. He watches as Alex drops the towel, slipping on a clean pair of boxers. He thought of going at it again but, then remembered what Alex said earlier, he was exhausted.

As Jack pushed the dirty thoughts towards the back of his mind, the younger boy joined him in bed. Once under the covers, Alex let out an exhausted sigh. He was no longer intoxicated and he already missed the feeling of hazy thought. His mind was running wild and, his nerves were on edge. He was too distracted to notice the weight shifting on the bed until he felt a pair of arms sneak around his waist from behind. Alex almost instantly lost the need to drink, the warm feeling in his chest banished the evil in his head for the time being.

Jack placed a few soft kisses on his exposed neck, unaware of the feelings he's making Alex feel. "Get some rest. I'll be here in the morning."

Alex nodded his head, sleep quickly overcoming his depraved mind. He muttered out a soft 'goodnight' before drifting off.

Jack knew he was getting too involved with this boy but, every time he looked into Alex's eyes as he saw the pain they held. Also, he wasn't blind to the scars on Alex's body. By now he's taken a mental note of where most of them are. He wants to ask about them but, Alex is extremely closed off. For now, he'll just be pleased if no new ones turn up. For now.

\---

Morning came around sooner than Alex hoped it would. He slowly opens his eyes, remembering everything that happened last night. Jack stayed the night. He sat up and looked over to his left, expecting to see him laying there but, the spot was empty. Alex got a heavy feeling in his chest, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He said he'd be here…

A noise from the kitchen disrupts his thoughts. He gets up from the bed and walks down the hall to the kitchen. Peaking his head around the corner he sees Jack getting the milk out of the fridge. Relieved that it's not a burglar, he walks around the corner.

"I thought you left.," Alex spoke up, honestly happy to see that Jack was still here.

Jack turned to see the shorter boy standing in the doorway in nothing but his boxers, noticing his glossy eyes and wet lashes. 'Was he crying?..'

"No, I said I'd be here. I was gonna make pancakes because I'm starving and then wake you up."

Alex perked up a bit at the mention of pancakes, it is one of his favorite things for breakfast. He walks over to where Jack is standing by the stove. "If we make pancakes then I'm gonna want bacon."

Alex walks to the fridge, grabbing the bacon from its spot on the shelf. He sets it on the counter, grabbing a pan from the cupboard above him.

"Do you want coffee? Because I need some coffee," he asked Jack as he retrieves the stuff to start the coffee.

"Yes, please," Jack answers as he starts pouring pancake batter in the hot, buttered pan. He starts humming the 'Bacon Pancakes' tune from Adventure Time, making Alex laugh in response.

"Adventure Time?" Alex asks as he starts the coffee, walking back to the stove next to Jack.

"I watch a lot of cartoons," Jack admitted shamelessly, a proud smirk on his face.

"Me too, I think I'll forever be a kid at heart." Alex agreed, taking in the feeling he had in his chest. He hadn't regretted waking up like he has done every morning for the past twenty years. Not only that but, he felt like he wouldn't mind waking up to something like this every morning.

\--

Once they were finished cooking, the two men sat down to eat.

Jack stared in disbelief at the amount of syrup Alex poured on his plate, the sticky substance coated the young man's fingers.

"Do you need some pancakes with that syrup?" Jack teased.

Giggling, Alex licked his fingers. "Mhm, nope I'm good."

In-between bites Jack's mind began to drift away from the mindless chit chatter. The man's usual thoughts ranged from dark matters to egotistical clatter, but around Alex, he felt this sense of peace. Sitting here Jack felt more at home than any place else than he did with his own boyfriend.

The younger boy was a complex novel and, while Jack was no reader he was determined to read this one.

Jack and Alex found themselves in the latter's living area seated on the sofa. Alex leaning into his own little nook and, feet just inches from Jack.

The older man had awoken earlier than usual that morning; hoping he would have time to pass with Alex.

Scrolling through the channel guide for the third time in a row, Alex sighed before tossing the remote to Jack.

Alex didn't pay any mind to what his company put on, his eyes were set on the taller man. The man's lips pulled into a smile and let out a short laugh, Alex mused with a small smile of his own.

Alex continued to watch the man, dark eyes taking in even the tiniest detail. The Lebanese man was beautiful indeed and, it wasn't long before Alex's admiration turned into longing.

Making a quick decision in his head. Alex moved from his comfortable position to climb on the man's lap.

Blinking at the sudden invasion Jack's large hands automatically latched to a tiny waist, fingers hitching up Alex's shirt and dancing on his skin.

Strangely enough, that simple gesture turned Alex on more than before, a gasp escaped his lips before he began grinding his hips in the man's lap.

Two pairs of lips met in a kiss, there were no tongues fighting for dominance or the taste of foul liquor. It was two people sharing something they haven't received in years or if ever. Jack moved one of his hands from Alex's waist to cup the side of his face and deepened the kiss.

Moaning, Alex slid a hand to Jack's crotch and palmed his penis through his jeans. Alex heard the man moan into his mouth as he rubbed him faster, the rough material waking his cock even quicker.

Alex pulled away from Jack's lips, sighing, and Jack noticed the way his face was already flushed.

"Stay right here," Alex ended up blurting out and scrambled from the man's lap before embarrassment could kick in.

Jack let his eyes wander to Alex until he was out of sight. Unfastening his jeans Jack pulled the material down before kicking them off completely. After spitting into his palm twice the man lowered his hand into this boxers and, gripped his member.

Jack moaned at the pleasure he was giving himself and, the promise of what was to come next. Slowing down his strokes, Jack watched Alex come back into the room. His clothes long forgotten and his appearance was messier than a few minutes ago.

When Alex made his way back to his royal throne in Jack's lap, the older man sees the bottle of lube in Alex's hand.

"I'm going to fuck myself on your cock," Alex spoke opening the lid. "And it's going to be awesome," he grinned.

"It looks like the princess is making demands," Jack pulled his boxers off, roughly grabbing Alex's erect cock he jerked his hand slowly. "Open wide princess," Jack muttered shoving three fingers into Alex's mouth.

Thrusting his fingers into the wet mouth a few times, Jack withdrew a hand. A few seconds later the rough pad of Jack's middle finger rubbed Alex's entrance before steadily pushing in.

"Jack," Alex groaned. "Another." "I already stretched myself," he explained after seeing the quizzical look he was given. "So I need your dick or another-" Alex choked out a gasp.

Jack had three fingers inside of Alex now, his skilled hands finding his prostate much quicker than most.

Alex let out a low moan and moved his body trying to thrust the digits deeper. "Jesus Christ, Jack, if you don't fuck me," he grumbled.

Laughing, Jack carefully removed his fingers and then gave Alex's hip a squeeze. "Aren't you supposed to be using my dick now?"

Alex rolled his eyes. He was rather enjoying their playful encounter but, he had other goals in mind.

Gripping Jack's shirt, Alex focused on lining himself up with the man. Bracing himself on the larger man, Alex moaned at the first sense of penetration.

Jack's thick girth slowly but surely slipped into the warm heaven causing both men to moan out.

"Fuck, I almost forgot how tight you are" Jack commented moving his hands to Alex's ass, grabbing the soft flesh.

Squirming a bit, Alex allowed himself time to get used to the size. Once Alex felt comfortable he began to lift his body before dropping back down, each time letting Jack's hard member leave his body and slamming down faster.

"So big," Alex moaned out.

Jack stared at the boy bouncing in his lap, his lean body glistening with sweat and his pink lips opening every few seconds letting out soft "oh's" and "fucks."

The brunette on top of Jack was gorgeous, not to mention he made the prettiest sounds Jack has ever heard.

"I need to come, please let me come. Shit," Alex began to babble.

Jack wrapped his hand around Alex's cock and spread the pre-cum along his shaft.

"Come on princess, tighten that hole around your daddy," Jack encouraged fucking into Alex.

Whining, Alex's movement became wobbly but before he could think Jack had them flipped over.

"Fuck fuck fuck," Alex chanted, spreading his legs for Jack.

Jack's cock nailed his prostate once again and he tightened his hold on Alex's cock. Swiping his thumb over the head of Alex's cock and, in a few short movements, Jack felt the smaller boy squeeze around him more than before.

"Daddy," Alex let out a whine as he felt himself let go of Jack's hand. Coming down from an orgasm Alex began to feel everything differently, the sharp thrusts were more powerful and Jack's words were miles away. All he could feel were the rugged hands on his hips grounding him and the airy feeling.

Although Alex was lost in his own world he felt when the older man came; the warm semen entering his body.

It was that moment both men realized they had forgotten a condom.

Alex felt this sense of belonging to Jack at that moment, one he couldn't describe.

And as Jack removed himself from Alex's body he stared down at the man and felt a sense of clarity.

-

Getting redressed Alex began to scold himself for forgetting about protection, at the end of the day no matter how likable the man was. Alex didn't know him from a can of paint. Despite the young man's sexual experiences and reputation he always prided himself in not allowing men to claim him, to mark him from the inside.

Exiting his bathroom Alex found Jack sitting on the beat-up sofa; his jeans were no longer thrown on the floor and his shoes were already laced.

"This time you better text," Alex reminded him.

Grinning, Jack nodded his head. "I think I'm pretty addicted by now."

Following Jack to the front door, Alex leaned in and gave him a short kiss.

Pulling away the two smiled at each other.

Watching Jack walk out of the door, Alex was at ease knowing that he would most likely be seeing him again.


	3. The Way We Were With People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we learn more about jack and his sad day. also we meet zack who is actually my favorite in this, oops

After leaving Alex's flat, Jack shortly made his way to the nearest Starbucks in search of more caffeine before arriving at work. Despite the twenty-five-year-olds vulgar language and even crude behavior, the young man had majored in psychology. During his last year of university, Jack had begun working at Ybor, a wellness center for the LGBT community in the city. Two years after graduation, Jack was still working at the center as a counselor. His days were spent filling out paperwork and, developing relationships with the youngsters that attended the LGBT youth group. Today though was more of a paperwork and, rereading notes he had taken down kind of day.

                                                                                                                                 

\---

 

By the time lunch rolled around Jack was exhausted, he could barely make out his own handwriting and last night's _sleepover_ had left him tired and confused, a rather powerful mixture.

 

Shoving a handful of fries into his mouth he tried his hardest to listen to the other man speaking, his mouth was moving and meaningless words were pouring out. Normally Jack would engage in conversation, his inner self-begging for some type of positive connection with his lover, but his thoughts were occupied by Alex.

 

Jack eyed Evan as he paused mid-sentence to take a drink of soda, the man's green eyes met Jack's hazel.

 

"I won't be home tonight," Evan continued. "Dad wants me to meet with a few new clients over dinner in DC."

 

Picking through the green salad in front of him, Jack nodded his head before briefly wondering if Evan even noticed his absence last night. He had never actually spent the night over a one night stand's house before, although it seems like Alex Gaskarth is no one night stand, Jack mused to himself.

 

Quickly after finding out that he would be spending another night alone, Jack began zoning out of the conversation once again.

 

Jack couldn't get the image of Alex out of his head, the mischief grin he wears, the way his nose wrinkles when he lets out a childish giggle and his big brown eyes. Jack begins to think back to this morning and the overwhelming feeling in his chest when he saw those brown eyes wet with tears. Part of Jack wanted to question Alex and comfort him while another was screaming at him to leave and never look back. Jack didn't understand his own thoughts anymore, not since the younger man came into his life. Alex is beautiful, Jack was sure of that, but he will soon figure out that his newfound fascination ran more than skin deep.

 

Taking another bite Jack focused his attention on his lover no longer wishing to remember Alex's sadness. Evan was currently glued to his phone, swift fingers typing faster than Jack could ever manage. Sighing, Jack took a few sips of soda and frowned at his boyfriend.

 

Jack had met Evan during his first year of high school, the two freshmen hit it off quickly and soon his life was consumed by the other. The young boys fell in a love that couldn't compare, or at least that's what Jack's sixteen-year-old self-convinced himself. At age twenty-five, Jack was still trying to convince himself that he and Evan were the perfect couple.

 

\--

 

_I've been searching for a way to stay in dreams_

_But I'm waking up and feeling sick and feeling dizzy_

_It's always ending, always ending._

 

\--

 

**Eleven years ago:**

 

Fourteen-year-old Jack Barakat sat at a crowded table, the loud chatter of teenagers and obnoxious chewing filled the cafeteria. Ignoring the burnt slice of pizza on his tray, Jack peeled a banana halfway before taking a bite. After finishing his banana, Jack dug into his book bag and pulled out his current read; The Wizard Heir. Flipping through the pages, Jack began to get lost in a world where wizards and magic existed; he was no longer in his school's noisy cafeteria.

 

Jack was so distracted by the book that he didn't notice when another student sat down at the table across from Jack, three seats away from a small group of friends that were currently having a conversation at the said table.

 

Olive toned eyes stared at Jack then the book in his hand and back to his face. "The Wizard Heir? I haven't read that one yet."

 

Blinking a few times, Jack looked up from his book to the teenager in front of him; inviting green eyes met hazel. Jack instantly felt himself relax and replied to the stranger; "You should read it sometime, I think this one is actually better than The Warrior Heir. I can't wait for the third book to come out."

 

The other boy smiled showing off his mouth full of metal and Jack couldn't understand the flutter in his chest. "I'll be sure to check it out, I really liked the first book. I'm Evan by the way, Evan Matthews."

 

Evan held his hand out and Jack hesitantly shook it. "I'm Jack, Jack Barakat."

 

The two teenagers discussed their favorite scenes of the first novel through the rest of lunch and by the end of the day Jack had made his first friend at school.

 

Jack Barakat was soon whisked away by the kind boy and for once Jack did not dread schooldays, he looked forward to seeing Evan.

 

\---

 

**Present Day:**

 

Jack's lunch break was over and he was alone with his paperwork again, he had an hour until the youth group started. Grabbing a yellow highlighter Jack tried his best to concentrate on the words in front of him rather than the feeling of emptiness that crept his way.

 

Not even five minutes later Jack was contemplating his entire career. He did this more often then he'd like to admit, some days Jack regretted his decision in studying psychology. Years ago the man was more hopeful, innocent even. Jack was sure that he could change a few lives for the better.

 

A knock brought Jack out of his daunting thoughts and, without looking up from his papers he called out, "come in."

 

"I'm going fucking crazy, man," was the first thing that came out of his visitor's mouth.

 

Jack set his work aside and faced the teenager with a clear look of concern on his face. "Hey Zack, I guess it would be stupid of me to ask if you were okay."

 

Seventeen-year-old Zack Merrick joined the LGBT youth group over a year ago. At sixteen years old Zack had gone from frightened to suicidal, and now apparently he had gone crazy. Maybe it was a little 'inappropriate' how involved Jack had gotten with Zack, he deemed the high-schooler as one of his closest friends.

 

"No Jack, I'm not fucking okay." And he certainly didn't look okay either, the anxious young man would normally not let his mood affect his outer appearance and yet here he was in a faded hoodie only meant for those days stayed in home, his usual neat styled hair was out of place and he looks as if he hasn't slept in days.

 

Jack frowned deeply at the teen. "Come on dude, sit down and tell me what's up."

 

Letting out an exaggerated sigh Zack sat down across from Jack. "Scarlet and I are spending yet another holiday together. A week together in Miami, our parents won't stop _hinting_ at a marriage," the brunette groaned. "I'm never going to get out of this."

 

Jack tried his hardest to comfort his friend. He understood at that age everything presents itself as a much bigger problem than it was, but the matter of the fact was that this situation could end badly. "Zack, you don't have to marry this girl. I know it's hard," he started. "But coming out of the closet is like drowning, you're trying your best to stay afloat and then you finally get that breath of air. You're out of the water but you're cold and scared, so fucking scared and not all of us are offered a towel. What I'm trying to say is that if you're not ready to come out then that's fine, but when you are ready, I'll be there with a life jacket."

 

Sniffling away the tears that threatened to fall, Zack gave Jack a tiny smile and laughed. "That's one way of putting it. Thanks."

 

The two young men stared at one other and at that moment all of their fears were exposed. Rather than digging deeper into these worries the two changed the subject and talked about everything and nothing all at once. Jack was itching to bring up Alex, he wanted to share his thoughts with his friend on the boy but he kept his mouth shut and continued playing this charade.

 

\---

 

Picking up his phone Jack noticed the time was 8:15 PM and he was already tired. Tossing his messenger bag on the dark red loveseat, he made his way into the kitchen in search of a quick snack. Once the man rummaged through his refrigerator twice he settled on a bowl of cereal and, took Evan's absence as a blessing as he poured a large amount of sugar on the bland Special K. Jack took a bite and instantly missed the pancakes he and Alex shared that morning. The mere thought of Alex left Jack with a soft smile on his face as he recalled their short period of time together and he was stupidly hoping for another chance to see the boy. Jack knew it wasn't right and that he shouldn't continue things with Alex, _not_ saying that the younger man would want to see him again. It appeared as if he ruined what little appetite he had and dumped the remaining cereal in the sink.

 

Not bothering with the three dishes in the sink, Jack switched the light off as he went towards the stairs and entered his and Evan's bedroom. Lying down he let out a content sigh and then he plugged his phone into the wall charger. After what seemed like a lifetime Jack's phone turned on and straight away he knew he was fucked. Ten missed calls and thirteen messages from Evan. Normally, he was the one trying to get in touch with his boyfriend. Sometimes he wouldn't hear from the other man for two days, but when Evan calls, Jack knows to be available. Taking a deep breath he played the one voicemail Evan left for him.

 

 _"So what, you're not going to answer me now?"_ Evan chuckled. _"Too busy to answer me? You're probably on your knees for another man right now, you fucking slut."_

Evan was drunk, Jack knew that. There were only a few times he was more open to his lover and when he was shit wasted, he let it out. Although Jack really didn't want to speak the man while he was in that state, he knew waiting any longer to return the call would cause more problems. Shaking fingers pressed the dial button and with every second that passed, he hoped it would go to voicemail. He sadly wasn't so lucky.

 

 _"Look who finally decided to call back,_ " came from the other line.

 

"Evan," Jack started. "I'm sorry I missed your calls. You know I was at work and then my phone died."

 

_"Right. You were at work. Tell me why again," he slurred. "Why you work there? Looking for some young dick?"_

 

Jack was stunned by the accusation, never before has Evan implied something like this. It took a moment for him to reply, "What the hell? They're fucking kids, Evan."

 

Evan snorted. _"Like age has ever stopped you before."_

 

A noise resembling a cry and whimper escaped from Jack and he could hear the other man yell profanities through the phone before he ended the call. Jack took a few deep breathes and ran his fingers through his hair in a mockingly soothing manner, willing himself to calm down. He gave himself a few moments to relax and afterward stripped out of his clothes down to his boxers and, got settled in bed.

 

Tossing around on the too empty bed, Jack wished for sleep but every time closed his eyes he was met with the familiar face of a monster. Peeking his eyes open he noticed his phone light up. With shaking fingers he reached for the phone scared and sickly excited by the prospect of it being Evan. Those emotions were soon replaced by one of warmth and joy as he read the simple words Alex sent,

 

_"My bed still smells like you.."_

 

Ninety percent of Jack was telling him not to reply while the ten percent urged him. Jack typed out a short reply but had to pause twice due to his unsteady hand movements.

 

_"Next time we can make **my** bed smell like **you**."_

 

Placing his phone on the bedside table, he slowly but surely closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	4. My Bedsheets Smell Like You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it wasn't planned out but the majority of jack's perspective is written by me and alex for my friend. here goes how alex's day went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i'm only posting this because i want my girlfriend to read this. i highly doubt anybody else is interested but just know you're all missing out
> 
> ps i swear to cookie monster, my princess better know which parts i wrote lmao

Not long after Jack left Alex's apartment, Alex reluctantly made himself presentable for work. He worked at a small local music shop and uniform requirements were slim. Just as long as you dressed appropriately. Today he decided on a pair of day old, black tattered skinnies; along with an oversized Simple Plan jumper. After pulling on his beat-up Vans and tousling his hair enough to make it look decent, he was out the door.

 

He glanced at the time on his phone, noticing he had enough time to walk, he opted out on taking the bus. The walk took him a good fifteen minutes, giving him a decent workout. Once he spotted the only person he'd ever consider a friend. Her name is Aurora, she's a short strawberry blonde. Her hair is long and considerably curly, it stopping almost at her waist. She was currently sporting black jeans with a Metallica shirt and high top Vans to pull it off.

 

"Alex! I've been waiting for ages for you. I'm dying of boredom." the blue-eyed girl stood behind the counter, speaking overdramatically.

 

"That bad?" Alex asked the short girl, walking behind the counter to clock in.

 

"I'm pretty sure a total of three people have come in since I got here. That was two hours ago. I've just been doodling." she goes back to her sketchbook that was currently open on the counter. She was a rather talented artist, focusing mainly on realism and portraits.

 

Alex glanced at her current work in progress. It was a familiar face. One that he's seen here often. "So, got a crush Rora?" he asks from behind her.

 

"U-Uh. No.," she answered, covering the drawing a bit.

 

"You sure? That drawing looks a lot like the girl that comes in a lot. You know, the one you fawn over every time she's here." Alex walks around the counter, smirking at her a bit.

 

"Wha- I don't." Aurora looks down at her drawing in defeat, "Fine, yes I have a crush. And yes I'm being mildly stalker-ish."

 

"It's okay. I think it's cute. I've been feeling mildly stalker-ish towards someone myself recently." Alex confessed.

 

"Seriously? Who? Why are you only telling me this now?" Aurora asked urgently.

 

"Um..," Alex awkwardly scratched the back of his head, averting his eyes a bit, "It's just this guy I met at the bar a couple of weeks ago.."

 

"Oooh, did you guys.." Aurora glanced around the small store, seeing no customers currently browsing around, "did you fuck?"

 

Alex blushed at that unexpected statement, "Yes, but that's beside the point."

 

"I guess so, why have you been stalker-ish?"

 

"I'm not really sure. All I know is he's different, also, extremely hot," he admitted shamelessly to his friend who was listening intently.

 

"Oo, really? Details, I need details." Aurora answers urgently, making Alex laugh in response.

 

"You're ridiculous."

 

"I'm also serious," she said matter-of-factly, laughing at the end of the statement. Alex felt comfortable around Aurora like they've known each other their whole lives. They only met a year ago.

 

The sound of bells jingling broke their conversation. The door opened to the small shop, showing the girl Aurora has been fawning over for weeks. She quickly turns the page in her sketchbook to a random drawing of a skull with horns. Alex stifles a laugh at Aurora's embarrassment and walks behind the counter.

 

Aurora watches the girl as she walks to the records. She was a rather tall girl, topping out around 5'6. She had long, wavy black hair with the right side shaved. Her tan, sun-kissed skin marveled her hazel eyes and they left Aurora in a daze.

 

After browsing the records, she walked over to the guitar strings. She's come in at least once a week, either buying new strings, or drumsticks. Aurora herself goes through two sets of drumsticks in a few weeks. She loves playing, though she doesn't believe she's any good.

 

The taller girl walks to the counter to check out. Putting the pack of strings, along with a pack of new picks on the counter next to the sketchbook. Aurora begins to scan the items, embarrassed that she might somehow see the drawing she was previously working on.

 

"Dude, did you draw that? It's awesome." the girl was looking at the drawing Aurora had used as a cover-up.

 

"Um..yeah, I did. You really think it's good?.." she asks with a blush dusted across her cheeks.

 

The black haired girl gave the redhead a smirk, "Yeah, you're pretty and talented. I'm Jasmine."

 

Aurora tried to hide her embarrassed stutter, but she failed horribly, "I-I'm Aurora.." she cursed herself for looking like an idiot.

 

Jasmine smiled at the name, "Such a pretty name. Good to see I'm in the presence of a fellow princess."

 

That thought did cross Aurora's mind but she was too caught up in the compliments to say anything. "Y-yeah..you're name suits you. You're also," Aurora stopped, scared of embarrassing herself further, she whispers the last part, "..very pretty."

 

Jasmine pays for her things, picking up the small bag off the counter. She looks back at the timid girl, giving her a smirk, "I'll see you around Sleeping Beauty."

 

And with that she left the shop, leaving Aurora a blushing mess. "Alex, I think I'm in love," she says only, half-joking.

 

"That was painful to watch. I knew you couldn't flirt but, damn." Alex responded to the other end of the counter, where he was doing inventory.

 

"Heyy, don't tease me. That's the woman of my dreams, of course, I'm a mess around her. Not all of us can be good a flirting." she pouts at her friend, much like a younger sister would.

 

Alex playfully rolls his eyes at the short girl, "I can't help it, I'm a natural."

 

"Teach me your ways, oh masterful one. Please, I'm desperate." Aurora spoke melodramatically, adding an obviously fake sob at the end.

 

He shrugs his shoulders, "Eh, I'll think about it."

 

"Asshole." with a pout, Aurora picks up a paper ball, throwing it at Alex.

 

\---

 

The workday went by quickly, mainly because of the goofing off Alex and Aurora got up to. He ended up giving her a few pointers on flirting, which she greatly appreciated. Aurora invited him out for drinks but for once he turned down the offer. For the first time in a long time, Alex didn't feel the need to drink. He wanted to bask in that feeling for as long as he can. Because he knows he'll eventually cave.

 

He wanted his day to stay good, he hadn't had one bad thought today. He woke up to happiness and has been floating on a cloud since. Although, once in his apartment and out of the cold, silence overcame him for the first time today. He shook his head trying to dismiss his thoughts. 'I should just go to bed early..' Alex thinks to himself. It's already around nine o'clock but, Alex doesn't normally get to sleep until the wee hours of the morning.

 

After walking to his bedroom, he strips down to his boxers, climbing in bed. He desperately wanted to fall asleep before he takes in the emptiness around him. He buries himself in the covers, closing his eyes. It didn't take long before they opened back up when a familiar scent filled Alex's nose. It was a mixture of his own cologne and Jack's. Alex subconsciously moved to the side of the bed where Jack slept the night before, the scent is a little bit stronger there. He felt his mind settle and his body relax. He felt comfortable and he didn't quite understand why.

 

He quickly grabs his phone from the nightstand, ducking under the covers. He pulls up his texts from Jack, quickly typing out a short message.

 

_'My bed still smells like you..'_

 

Alex bites his lip in anticipation, pressing send. He was curious to see what the older man had to say.

 

A few minutes pass and his phone buzzes. He opens the message from Jack, feeling the warmth in his chest again as he reads it.

 

_'Next time we can make **my** bed smell like **you**.'_


	5. Is It Cool If I Hold Your Hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alex and jack hang before. zack comes back into the picture because i am honestly in love with him he is my smol son that needs a hug and a man. then more of alex's self-loathing because that's always fun

It'd been about a week since Alex and Jack had seen each other. Though, the texts they sent back and forth to each other gave Alex something to look forward to every day. They had exchanged where they worked a couple of days ago, Jack wanting to stop by where Alex worked. Which is what he was currently doing.

                                                                                                                    

He had the day off, and Evan had gone out of town again. It was the perfect getaway. About ten minutes ago Alex had texted him, complaining that work was boring. _'Perfect timing.'_ he thought. Jack turned the corner, now walking down the street that the small music shop was on. Jack was rather anxious to see the younger boy, he missed the time they spent together. He wants to feel that sense of peace again.

 

Alex was currently chatting with Aurora. The business had been slow, no one besides themselves were in the building. She was intensely explaining the plot of the anime she's currently watching, tears streaming down her face and all. Alex was only half listening, his mind drifting off to other affairs. The sound of bells jingling caught their attention, cutting Aurora off mid-sentence and breaking Alex from his thoughts.

 

Jack walks through the door, smiling at Alex as soon as he lays eyes on him.

 

Alex looks over towards the door, his eyes widening with surprise, "Jack, why didn't you say you were stopping by?"

 

Alex glanced back at Aurora, dreading the teasing he knew was coming later. She had a smirk on her lips, planning her revenge on Alex for teasing her about Jasmine.

 

"I had the day off so I figured I'd stop by and surprise you." Jack walked over to the counter that Alex was currently standing in front of, stopping in front of the shorter boy, "Plus, I missed you."

 

As much as Aurora wanted to be nosey and watch the cuteness in front of her, she walked to the back to give them a little space. (Like she's not going to watch from afar.)

 

A small smile graced Alex's lips, and a blush dusted across his cheeks. _Jack missed me?_ He thought in disbelief. 

 

Alex hastily pulls himself together, "I- um..I get off work in an hour. If you want to do something after.."

 

Jack smirked at the blushing boy, finding his stutters to be cute. He was honestly ecstatic to know Alex wanted to spend time with him.

 

"Sounds like fun, hm," Jack thought for a second before coming up with an idea, "Meet me at the café down the street when you get off? We could get coffee."

 

Alex loved the idea of talking over a warm cup of coffee, especially with Jack. "Coffee sounds amazing right now."

 

"Then it's a date."

 

Alex became flustered at the idea of a date. Mainly because he's never been on one. He mentally cursed his inexperience, trying to compose himself. Jack couldn't hold himself back any longer, Alex was just too cute when he was flustered. Plus, he's been wanting to kiss him all week.

 

He closes the space between them, cradling Alex's cheek in his hand as their lips meet. Jack only meant for it to be a quick kiss, but he was reluctant to pull away from the happiness Alex provided. And Alex, he'd only felt this way once when he kissed somebody. It was a week ago when Jack spent the night and, he was practically itching for another fix. Now that he finally has it, he doesn't want to let go.

 

But, sadly enough, all good things come to an end. The sound of bells made Alex reluctantly pull away, he had forgotten where he was. A customer walked in and was now browsing by the guitars.

 

With a smirk, Jack spoke, "I'll let you get back to work. I'll be waiting."

 

"O-okay." Alex had a smile plastered on his face, the warm feeling in his chest still remaining. He watches as Jack leaves the small shop, too distracted to notice Aurora emerging from her hiding spot.

 

"Holy shit, Alex. Does that guy have magical powers or something? Because I swear I heard you stutter." She walks in front of him with a look of a mixture of excitement and happiness. Aurora was excited because she knows Alex a little too well and, this is the first time he's showed feelings towards someone.

 

"Oh god, how much did you see?" Alex asked the short girl, horrified.

 

She gave him a sadistic grin, "All of it."

 

Alex let out a defeated sigh and walked behind the counter, dreading the teasing that was soon to come his way.

 

\--

 

The hour passes quickly and, Alex was undoubtedly excited. He hurried and clocked out, as he was walking past the counter, Aurora spoke up.

 

"Remember, it's just coffee so don't be nervous. You guys have had sex for fuck's sake." She laughed at her own comment before flashing him a smile, "Anyways, good luck, Lexy."

 

"Okay okay, thanks. Bye." He gave her a smile and walked out the door.

 

He walked the short distance to the small café. It was a small, locally owned establishment. It was a bit old fashioned but Alex frequented it a lot. Once inside, he took a deep breath, taking in the smell of coffee beans and caffeine. He looked around before spotting Jack in the back, he was currently scrolling on his phone. As Alex walked towards the table, Jack looked up at him.

 

He gave Alex a warm smile, "Hey, you're here."

 

"Yeah," Alex took a seat in the chair across from Jack before smiling at him, "So, how's your day been so far?"

 

Jack honestly didn't know how to answer that question. He's so used to hearing Evan's bullshit every day and not being asked this simple yet, important question. He came up with the most honest reply that he could, "As cliché as it sounds, a lot better now that you're here."

 

He gave Alex a smile, seeing his face turn a bit pink. Alex was at a loss for words. How was it that this guy could use the cheapest lines and they work. Alex soon came back to his senses, a small smile lingering on his lips. The waitress then walked over, taking Alex's drink order. Jack already had his coffee. Alex settled on his usual Caramel Macchiato, it is one of his favorites. She then walked away from their table, leaving them to their own devices.

 

Alex tries his best to make conversation and not let nerves overtake him, "I wanted to ask you, what's it like working as a counselor?"

 

During their week of texting back and forth, Jack had told Alex what he does for a living. Alex found it ironic, him being interested in a counselor, of all people.

 

"I love it, most of the time. I got into psychology because I wanted to help people, and I have. But, sometimes there are people that I can't help. I work with mostly teenagers. It's really hard to hear that a kid that I've been talking to for weeks, killed themselves." Jack looks over at the boy across from him, he never opens up about this stuff. Mainly because no one ever asks, "Ah, sorry if I got all gloomy."

 

"No, it's fine. It's good to open up about things, right? If you ever need to talk about it..I'll listen." Alex could feel his face heat up from embarrassment. But, he felt sympathetic towards Jack. He always listens to people when they need it but, who does he open up to?

 

Jack smiled fondly at Alex. For someone who seems like they already deal with a lot, he's willing to listen. Jack finds that, admirable.

 

"Thanks.." Jack was interrupted by the waitress coming over with Alex's coffee, he gave her a short thank you and again she was gone, "So, what about you? Tell me a bit about yourself."

 

"There's not really much to say. I work at a music shop because well, it's the only place I actually enjoy working. I love music." he paused momentarily, thinking about what to say next, "Sometimes I play acoustic shows at bars. Normally when I need the extra cash."

 

"You play shows? That's actually pretty cool. I play guitar, mostly as a hobby. But, I used to want to make a band in high school. It was a silly dream."

 

"I don't think it was silly. I've always wanted to make a band." Alex stated before taking a sip of his delightfully hot coffee.

 

"What's stopping you?"

 

"I'm extremely anti-social. The red-headed girl I work with is the only friend I've had in years. The only reason I'm friends with her is because she's very persistent. But, I'm glad she is." the thought of his best friend left Alex with a smile on his face. She's helped him through a lot this past year.

 

"If it makes you feel any better, I consider my best friend to be a seventeen-year-old kid. Weird, I know but he reminds me of myself when I was that age. Scared and alone, rejected. He kind of reminds me of a little brother." Jack smiled at the thought of his friend, he definitely fit the annoying brother stereotype. "Didn't you say that you have a brother?"

 

Alex froze after he heard that question, not really sure on how to answer it, "U-um..had. I had a brother. I don't really like talking about it." he looked down at his coffee, not wanting tears to fall and thankfully he was able to hold them back.

 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry." Jack felt horrible now, he didn't realize it was such a touchy subject.

 

"No, it's okay. You didn't know. He just meant a lot to me. He was the only person in my family who actually liked me."

 

"I don't really get along with my family either." Jack stated, sipping his coffee, "Anyways, enough with the doom and gloom. Wanna get out of here? It's getting kind of crowded."

 

Alex looked around, the once tranquil coffee shop was now buzzing with business. It was starting to get loud with chatter so, the idea Jack proposed didn't sound too bad.

 

"Sure, just let me pay for my coffee then we-"

 

Jack cut him off, "Don't worry about the coffee, I'll pay."

 

"I'd feel bad if I let you pay." Alex has never had anyone pay for anything unless it was a drink at a bar. But that was different, at least he's pretty sure it is.

 

"Nonsense, I insist. It's a date, remember?" Jack gave Alex a wink and a smile, pulling out his wallet. He puts enough money on the table to cover the two beverages, along with a big enough tip to make up for being there for an hour and a half.

 

Alex couldn't help but smile, "Thanks."

 

They walked out of the, now crowded, café. Instantly Alex had regretted not wearing sleeves. It wasn't really that cold but, it was windier than earlier. Spring is a confused season.

 

Jack noticed Alex shivering when the wind blew, "Are you cold?"

 

"A bit but, I'll live," Alex replied, shivering again as the wind picked back up. "I hate spring, it can never make up its mind to be hot or cold."

 

"Here," Jack begins to take off the black jacket he's wearing, handing it to the shorter boy, "I'm wearing long sleeves so I'll be fine."

 

"You sure?.."

 

"Positive, now put it on so you can warm up." he gave Alex a reassuring smile. He took the article of clothing from Jack, pulling it on instantly feeling warmer. Not only from the warmth it provided but from the warmth in his chest.

 

"Much better, thank you."

 

\--

 

They walked for a while, talking. Mainly about music or, their favorite movies. They found themselves at the park, sitting next to each other on a bench. It was starting to get dark. Alex couldn't keep his mind off of one thing the entire time. He really wanted to hold Jack's hand. He didn't know why he's never been this close to someone. But the more he thought about it, the more he wanted to try it.

 

Jack took notice of Alex sudden silence, "You okay? You seem like you're thinking about something."

 

Alex came back to reality, looking over at Jack, his cheeks dusted pink, "Can I ask you something? And don't laugh.."

 

"Sure, you can ask me anything."

 

"C-can I hold your hand? It's just that I- um, I've never..held someone's hand before." Alex cursed himself for stuttering, he was embarrassed enough already.

 

Jack smiled at the boy beside him, "You don't have to ask, you know. You've really never held hands with someone before?"

 

Alex shook his head before Jack takes his hand, letting their fingers intertwine together. Alex feels the warmth he's come to love in his chest again, making him smile.

 

"What do you think?" Jack asked the smiling boy, enjoying the feeling of someone's hand in his. Something he hasn't felt in a long time.

 

"I like it. I feel closer to you like this. It's weird, but I like it." he answered honestly.

 

"Good, because I like it too." Jack smiled at Alex before leaning over, giving him a sweet kiss.

 

It would be an understatement to say that the boy's sweet kiss had escalated quickly; shortly after they broke apart and walked towards Jack's car, hand in hand. Now those hands fumbled around to unzip jeans and unbutton shirts, two bodies molding together in the backseat of the small vehicle.

 

"I wasn't kidding," Jack murmured against the younger man's neck. "I want my bed to smell like you, I want my car to smell like you too." _I want you_ , were the unspoken words.

 

Rather than calling the older man out on this, Alex placed his hand on the front of Jack's boxers and whispered, "Maybe one day." It wasn't a promise but the younger boy's voice was edging into a whine, desperate for the sexual release he was sure to come and the deep want to be Jack's. He wasn't entirely certain if he wanted to be Jack's boyfriend or not, the mere thought terrified and excited him all at once, but he knew that he wanted to be something to the man who left him with butterflies.

 

Jack reluctantly pulled away from the soft flesh and locked eyes with the boy beneath him; wide brown orbs which held confusion and longing stared back at him. Almost hesitantly Jack cupped Alex's face in his hands, a silent conversation was held between the two. Jack glided his thumb across Alex's cheeks before tracing along his pink lips. Leaning into one another, Jack captured his lover's lips with his own into a passionate kiss, too personal for a fling but the constant cramping of their long limbs reminded the two where they were.

 

Alex took charge by lightly biting Jack's lower lip causing the man to moan allowing the younger boy to slip his tongue into the other's mouth; two tongues danced to a familiar tune. Jack removed his hands away from Alex's face and placed one on his hip while the other tangled themselves into his caramel locks. Alex gently pushed at Jack's chest and broke the kiss, nudging the man until they switched positions which turned out to be a little tricky, but after a few elbow bumps, Alex was on top of the older man.

 

"You already look fucked out," Jack mused gripping Alex by the hips causing the younger man to snort and roll his eyes as he slid his hand into Jack's boxer shorts, squeezing the awakening member. "Wish I could fuck you," Jack moaned out.

 

Alex stroked the older man with a firm grip, twisting his wrist and flicking his thumb on the swollen head wanting to feel the hard cock inside of him, clear disappointment from the lack of lubricant. Alex ground himself down on the man's lap and squeezed Jack's cock harder, slipping his other hand into his own briefs. Jack watched Alex gain pleasure from his own hand as he created a vice grip on himself, teeth catching onto his bottom lip as he moved his hand to Jack's cockhead to massage his balls.

 

The bigger man brought two fingers towards Alex's mouth, index finger tapping his lips until the boy parted them and took the digits inside. Alex's mouth was warm and, so soft. It tempted Jack to shove his cock into the wanting mouth but, the cramped back seat made him choose against it. Jack lazily thrust his fingers into the wet mouth with a look that Alex couldn't describe.  It was like that for a minute or two, Jack's thick fingers resting on Alex's tongue, the smaller male squirming in his lap and the moment felt much more intense than what they intended.

 

"Does my good boy want my fingers?" Jack's voice came out huskier than usual, it felt darker and all Alex could do was nod his head and watch as Jack withdrew his fingers, wet with saliva. Those fingers disappeared into Alex's tight, black boxer briefs and quickly found their target, one finger nudging at his hole and with another affirmative head nod Alex groaned when Jack sank his long digit inside. Jack pushed his finger in as deep as he could get and withdrew slowly repeating the action a total of four times before he began to pick up a faster pace.

 

"Fuck," Alex choked out when the other man pulled his finger out, only to add another digit and pressed the two inside. Biting his bottom lip, Alex emitted low moans and closed his eyes lost in the pleasure of Jack's fingers fucking inside of him, grazing his prostate and the hand that snaked themselves around his cock.

 

Jack stared at the younger man on top of him and couldn't help but think of how beautiful he was; Alex had moved his hands to Jack's chest and shifted his hips in a position that forced the fingers in deeper, picking up a faster tempo. Removing fingers from Alex he watched as the younger man pouted, making a sound resembling an angered puppy. Chuckling a bit, Jack waved his pointer finger in Alex's face in mock scolding, "Nuh-uh. I want you to open wide baby, gotta get you ready." On instinct the boy parted his lips and let Jack shove his fingers back into his mouth, tongue flicking around each digit. "Good boy," Jack murmured. "You taste good, don't you? Bet you like the way you taste," he taunted making the smaller boy whine. "I know I do," he whispered the last part as he removed his fingers and quickly got back to fucking his fingers into the other's heat. Two fingers rocked in and out of the boy for a good minute until Jack pressed a third finger against his quivering hole circling around the pink ring until finally, sinking that digit inside of Alex.

 

"Want your cock," Alex groaned out rocking back on the fingers. "Want you to fuck me open."

 

"Not now baby," Jack grunted forcing his digits inside rougher. "But soon I'll have you spread out and, I'll fuck you 'til you cum on my cock alone."

 

It wasn't long until Alex came, Jack's fingers digging into his prostate and his callous hands gripping his cock: Alex muttered a few quick _"fucks"_ and spilled his release into Jack's hand. Alex was lost in a trance, whining once the pressure of Jack's hands left his body and when he looked, when he really looked, he saw the older man with his hand around himself jerking vigorously until he came as well. Alex felt when two fingers tapped against his lips and happily accepted the man's semen in his mouth.

 

Alex wasn't one for dating, but he was pretty certain that not all dates ended like this one, but that was okay. Alex wasn't sure what love was, but feeling those strong arms wrap around him, even for a moment, excited him, and worried him. Perhaps he could find this 'love' in the form of Jack.

 

Jack knew that he and Alex needed to leave soon, they were already cutting it close with their semi-public hookup, but before he stops himself he had the smaller man in his hold. For all of the reasons that this wasn't right, Jack was beginning to think that this might the only thing he wasn't wrong about.

 

\--

 

All good things must come to an end and the clock striking 7:05 PM reminded Jack of other promises he already made. With an almost timid kiss and cheesy farewell Jack dropped Alex off at his apartment and the two parted ways.

 

Alex was met with silence in his home, the familiar feeling of loneliness chilled through his bones and suddenly his head was swamped with bleak ideas. He hated to admit it but he was looking forward to inviting the older man back into this apartment, possibly wrapped in each other's arms throughout the night and fall asleep, but he and Jack weren't together. Just because it happened once doesn't mean it'll happen again. Alex had to remind himself of that.

 

Walking into his kitchen Alex let his feet take him to his refrigerator where trained eyes searched for some kind of relief; there were three beers left from a six pack, a little less than half a bottle of vodka hid by a carton of milk and an open bottle of brandy awaited for him. Deep down Alex had hoped the night wouldn't end with him being shit faced but he wasn't allowed the privilege to be drunk off of Jack for the night and opted for a can of beer, the night was young and there was still a chance Aurora would want to talk him about everything. Alex mentally cringed at that thought and took a long swig of beer.

 

\--

 

Jack arrived at the tea shop twenty minutes after dropping Alex off, he got in line and ordered two lavender almond milk teas and sat down waiting for his friend. Poking his straw through the plastic cover Jack took a lengthy sip and turned towards the television displayed on the wall, they were playing a music video by some Asian boyband Jack wasn't sure the name of. The bubbly tea shop specialized in bubble tea, the entire place was splashes of color from the purple walls to the orange seating. It wasn't the type of place anyone at Dulaney high school would expect their star goalie to be seen in but it happened to one of Zack's favorite spots for that exact reason, and the good food didn't hurt.

 

Jack became so infatuated with the music video that was playing that he hadn't noticed the high schooler come in. Zack spotted his friend instantly, walking towards the older man he took a seat across from him at the small booth, before he could open his mouth he realized that Jack was concentrated elsewhere, eyes trailing upwards Zack saw the screen and snorted. "I can't believe that _you_ are drooling over BTS."

 

"Wha-?" Jack glanced at Zack. "Who?"

 

Rolling his eyes Zack took a drink and answered: "That band you were just watching." With a dreamy sigh, he added, "Look them up later, you won't regret it."

 

Grinning at the teenager Jack cooed, "Zack has a little celebrity crush, how cute." Zack rolled his eyes once more. "Mentioning crush..."

 

"Don't," Zack groaned. "We've been over this dude, I'm in love with my straight best friend. How much more pathetic could I get?"

 

"Come on, we've _all_ had a crush on a straight person at least once."

 

"And he has a girlfriend! She's pretty and nice, average grades but come on, Rian is practically failing and she's trying to help him study. Even if he were into guys I couldn't compete with this girl."

 

So maybe this storyline is a little overused, the whole 'I'm queer and totally head over heels for this straight person' but come on, it happens. Zack couldn't help the fact that he felt safe with Rian, it seemed there were a lot of people that expected him to be something different. His mother doted over the loving son that she raised, he showed manners and maintained a healthy social life, not to mention a beautiful girlfriend that the family just adores, but it was just a fabrication he wore. Zack had rage inside of him that he couldn't describe. It wasn't as if he wanted to hurt anyone, more like he wanted control of his life. The young man has never touched any type of alcohol nor has he smoked, well okay he's had a joint once, twice, maybe six times, his mother would not approve. His dad is just happy that he has a hot girlfriend and that he's popular at school. Sure at first he was upset that his son wasn't on the football team but he learned that being the father of a soccer star isn't so bad. Scarlet, it was hard to say what she wanted but Zack knew he couldn't give that to her either. The two had been best friends growing up, summers spent at the park trying to eat the other's ice cream, by night they were chasing fireflies, it was simple back then. But then they were ten and they didn't understand why they couldn't sleep in the same bed anymore, two pouts and moans against the adults, until one day Scarlet started seeing things their parent's way. But Rian, the other seventeen-year-old didn't search for an outer layer on the boy, instead, he saw what was tucked underneath those façades and chose to stay.

 

"You need to get laid," Jack joked. "I'm sure I could get you in somewhere to have a few drinks and meet a cute guy."

 

Zack blushed and ducked his head in embarrassment. "Call me a hopeless romantic but I never pictured losing my virginity to a complete stranger," he whispered.

 

"Touché."

 

"What about you?" Zack smirked. "It's been awhile since I've heard about king Jack-O's latest ass."

 

"Zack I am appalled, I can't believe you just said that."

 

"Oh come on give me something, it's not like I have anything worth mentioning."

 

Jack thought of this moment far too often in the past week, he dreaded the conversation that was bound to come, but he was itching to share what little pieces he could of Alex to Zack. Tapping his fingers against the table Jack took another drink of his tea before replying, "There's this guy and it's not just, he's not just some guy, ya know."

 

Zack gave him a quizzical look. "I really don't know. Who is this guy?"

 

Jack launched into the story of how he met Alex, perhaps going a little too much in detail about their sexual history, yet lacked depth towards the answer of _who_ Alex exactly was to Jack, for he couldn't put it into words himself. "Alex is different," he concluded.

 

"Does he know about Evan?"

 

And there it was, Jack mused, the question he feared but knew would come. "No," it was a simple word, only two letters easily rolling off of the man's tongue; however, it left a sinking feeling in his chest.

 

The teenager had a clear look of disappointment on his face while he responded, "You shouldn't be doing this Jack. I'm not saying that this Alex guy is right for you but if he really is different then you don't want to lie to him about something like this."

 

"I want to tell him," Jack rushed out to defend himself. "Whether anybody believes it or not I never pictured myself being the type to cheat, the first few times I was with someone else I fucking hated myself okay. I guess after a while I became numb and it was normal. As long as I didn't know the guy it was fine because for all I know he's someone's shitty boyfriend, too," Jack laughed at that.

 

"You've seen him a few times, you went to his fucking job today and took him out on a low-key date, so please tell me if he has a boyfriend, maybe girlfriend?" Zack retorted.

 

"No," and there was that damn word again. Jack's throat felt dry and all other words were stuck on his tongue. Grabbing the cup in front of him Jack sucked through the straw suddenly parched and was upset with it came to end, he sat the empty cup down and resorted back to tapping his fingers against the table. Zack watched him with an intent expression as he waited for the man to continue. "Alex wouldn't cheat, he wouldn't hurt somebody like that. He's not that kind of person."

 

Zack frowned at the response he was given. "Do you mean he's not like you?" It came out a question but the younger could see it in his eyes, the honest guilt Jack always felt. The older man was nowhere near as heartless as he thought, sure there were some wrongs in Jack's life but Zack knew he was hurting. "You don't hurt people dude," Zack breathed out and there he was staring Jack in the eye again. "You help people, Jack. You go to work and save some queer kid from fucking killing themselves all the time. I'll admit that I don't think you should be screwing every dude you see but you're not technically hurting anybody. Evan is a dick man, he doesn't deserve you and I know that he started cheating first and all but, this is fucked up. Jack you can't keep on seeing this dude."

 

It made sense, Jack was in a relationship with his high school sweetheart, it didn't matter how rough things were at the moment he wasn't in any position to leave Evan. This wasn't fair to Alex at all.

 

"Jack," Zack had lowered his already soft voice and spoke, "If you like Alex then you should tell him about Evan, maybe he'll be okay with it and maybe he won't, either way, you could always leave Evan. We could be single together and find guys who actually who are worthy of us," he ended with a little smirk.

 

Jack felt his lips twitch upwards indicating a small smile appeared but the man was not even considering that idea. Taking his phone out of his pocket he saw the time being 8:17 P.M., almost an hour rolled by and Jack was already yearning to go home. He no longer wished to deal with this conversation and decided to chicken out. "It was good to see you man but, I need to get going. Evan wants to FaceTime before he goes to bed." It was a lie and they both knew that. Zack let Jack run from this conversation once again and, with a promise to text each other, Jack made his way to this car and Zack ordered another tea.

 

 _'It wasn't right', J_ ack knew that he couldn't keep things up with Alex. He needed to tell the younger man about his boyfriend, the thought alone terrified him but the guilt was eating him away.

 

\--

 

It's 9:45 P.M. and Alex was drunk, he had finished off his pack of beer and was currently taking shots of brandy, losing count after four. The alcohol made him far more emotional than he was going for and the lonely feeling from earlier made a home in his bones. Aurora hadn't bothered to call Alex and he couldn't muster up the courage to call her first, not when he was in this state at least. It seemed that every few minutes Alex's mind would come up with some concoction as to why Jack would never be his and he would argue with himself that **no** , he wasn't a bad person, but he would fail miserably trying to convince himself so and would bring the bottle to his lips for another taste of that burning poison, and repeat. Alex drowned his sorrows in alcohol and emo punk music from the early 2000's, although he couldn't wipe his thoughts of Jack away; turning up the radio he closed his eyes and mentally begged for something to take him away.

 

_**'I like songs about drifters, books about the same,** _

__

_**They both seem to make me feel less insane.** _

__

_**Walked on off to another spot,** _

__

_**I still haven't gotten anywhere that I want.** _

__

_**Did I want** **love** **? Did I need to know?** _

__

_**Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?'** _

__

Alex had become lost in the music and quietly sang along, his voice came out rough compared to Isaac Brock's. Not before long the song ended and the chords to _We Looked Like Giants_ began and all he could think about was what Jack must be up to. Alex drifted off to thoughts about the older man, he wondered where Jack lived, what his home looked like and Alex felt his schoolgirl crush skyrocket as his imagination ran wild. He imagined a solid bond forming with Jack, the two continuing with whatever this thing they have with each other is and just maybe finding something that he needs. He liked Jack, the man was hot for starters, plus he really knew how to reduce Alex to a whimpering mess, and his high tolerance to alcohol was compatible with Alex's, not to mention he was just awesome, he likes Adventure Time for fuck's sake! He was twenty-five years old and he loved cartoons, probably more than Alex does and the younger male found that adorable. He pictured nights spent in Jack's bed, using his shower the next morning and making pancakes together, he would mark his territory by the love bites he left on Jack's shoulder and the little items that he would leave at his house.

 

Alex let out a deep sigh and threw his head back against the fridge and it was in that moment he recognized that his deep wants were classified as a steady and committed relationship but, he felt braver than ever and in a panic grabbed his phone. He searched for Jack's contact and thought about calling him, he weighed his options on calling versus and texting and pressed the call button before rushing to hang up, already regretting his decision and prayed that the call didn't go through. Alex was no good at talking on the phone, he could never get his words out. Opening a next text message he began to type to Jack...

 

When a sudden tapping was heard it took Alex a few seconds until he realized with distaste that someone was knocking at his door. Taking another swig out of the bottle he thought about not answering it but another knock echoed louder and if anything that was Aurora and she was going to lose her patience soon before hollering and kicking the door. Rolling his eyes Alex stood up and set the bottle on the counter before moving towards his front door and shouting, "I'm coming!"

 

He was prepared to answer all of the girl's questions and the teasing that was sure to come after she had a drink herself she would be able to cheer Alex's mood. Opening the door he was met with a flustered Jack, the possibilities as to why the man looked nervous flew by Alex but, the only thing he cared about was the fact that Jack was **here**. "Jack, hey," were the idiotic words that came out.

 

Jack gave him a half smile, noticing that Alex was still wearing the jacket that he had loaned him hours prior.  "Hi, Alex."

 

Stepping aside, Alex let Jack inside and the two awkwardly stood by each other. Alex was now concerned by the other man's demeanor, he looked anxious and he had trouble meeting his eyes.

 

"Do you want a drink?" Alex was hoping for a breakthrough yet this was all he could offer but he counted it as a win when Jack nodded his head.

 

"I've got lemonade or Mountain Dew," he called out.

 

"Mountain Dew," Jack answered. He was eyeing the crushed beer cans and an almost empty bottle of bottle of vodka and he instantly knew that he couldn't tell Alex now, he needed to be sober, they both needed to be sober. Taking the soda he opened the can and took a long drink wishing his nerves away, despite telling himself that he was no longer going to be talking about Evan he couldn't shake the feeling of being on edge. But when he sat the can down Alex was on him in a heartbeat, lips crashing to his and while he normally loves being intimate with Alex. He knew a kiss like that led to shedding their clothes and that was far from Jack's mind. "Alex," he protested, gently pushing on the boy's chest.

 

"What's wrong?" Alex nearly whined when they broke apart.

 

Jack smiled at the drunk boy and took his hand into his own. "Nothing's wrong," technically it was a lie but he couldn't dwell too much on that now. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

 

\--

 

Once Jack made the younger man drink water, Alex retreated into the living room to browse through Netflix while Jack prepared popcorn.

 

Alex didn't spend much time looking through the movies before selecting _White Chicks_ and patiently waited for Jack. He still wasn't sure as to why the older man showed up and why he seems so strange, but he was willing to go with it if it meant he got to spend time with Jack.

 

A few minutes later Jack joined Alex on the couch and he gladly accepted his place as Alex's pillow. Jack and Alex spent the night curled on the couch together, bodies close enough to feel when the other person laughed and boy did they laugh throughout the movie. The scene was rather domestic, it left a pleasant feeling Alex's chest, and there he was thinking about Jack again, only this time as he snuggled closer to Jack he let himself hope for the future.

 

Smiling to himself, Jack ran his hand through the boy's mocha colored hair and for these few moments he could pretend that things were fine. He could pretend that Alex was his as he was Alex's and he could push away thoughts concerning Evan. For right now Jack and Alex were in their own little bubble cut off from the outside world and things were falling into place.

 

Credits rolled around and another movie was put on but the volume was lower and Alex yawned. Jack wanted to suggest going into Alex's bedroom but he too was in a comfortable position, and he watched as Alex became sleepier before those beautiful eyes fluttered shut. Jack was content with watching the younger man sleep for a minute or two, he wanted to make sure that he wouldn't wake up from the slightest movement before he carried him into the bedroom and lied him down. Jack tidied up in the living room a little and after drinking a glass of water he tiptoed back into Alex's room and got settled in the bed so he was facing Alex's back. He wrapped his arms around the smaller body and buried his face into his shoulder, delighted when he felt Alex move closer in his sleep towards him.

 

While the two men still had their demons and fears, it was fair enough to say that with each day they grew closer, and Jack couldn't be more grateful for that.

 

"I really, _really_ like you, Alex," Jack whispered into the sleeping man's ear.

 

Closing his eyes Jack soon fell into his own slumber.


	6. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i personally like a slow-ish burn but these two have fucked enough times already and i don't know. i still think it may have been too early for alex to say some of these things but here we are 
> 
> ps i have come to conclusion that i will never write in uppercase or even remotely correctly in these summary and note thingies haha

 

**Flashback in dreamland:**

 

Fifteen-year-old Alex sat at the dinner table situated in the dining room of his old home. His parents very seldom made dinner for him, let alone invited him to eat at the table. He knew something was wrong and, that terrified him.

 

His mother walked in from the kitchen, two plates in her hands. She sat one in front of her timid son before setting her own to his right. The table was square and small, enough room for four people. He peered across the table, looking at the empty spot where Tom used to sit. If he had an appetite at all, it was gone now. Replaced with guilt and emptiness.

 

His father's voice broke him from his thoughts as he walked through the front door. His face was bloodied, probably got into another bar fight. "Fucking righteous assholes."

 

"Honey, what happened?" Katherine, his mother, rushed over to Steven, reaching out to examine his face. But before she could even touch him, he grabbed her wrist, gripping it too tightly.

 

Alex could never understand why she loved him. He was psychotic but, then again so was she. He didn't understand how someone could love someone who hit them every day but, she did.

 

"Right um, dinner's ready. I'll go make you a plate." and with that his mother retreated back into the kitchen, leaving Alex alone with his father. He stared down at his plate, refusing to make eye contact with him.

 

He could hear footsteps growing closer before the chair to his left scraping against the hardwood floor. Alex kept his shaking hands under the table, to hide them from his father. He didn't want to be called a pussy for being scared. He jumped slightly at the simple sound of a lighter flicking. Cigarette smoke soon filled his nose as his mother walked back into the dining room. She carefully sat Steven's plate in front of him, along with an open bottle of his favorite beer.

 

"I fixed you an ice pack and got you a few Perkins." Katherine sat the pain pills next to his beer, along with the ice pack before taking her seat across from him. Steven took a drag from his cigarette, giving his wife a short 'thank you' before washing the pills down with a swig of beer.

 

Alex was now picking at his food, wanting nothing more than to retreat to his room. You could feel the tension in the air, Alex knew he was going to get in trouble. He constantly stole cigarettes or booze from his parents. He stayed away from the pills, Tom's overdose on Oxycodone made sure he didn't touch the stuff. Even though he was only fifteen, he picked up the smoking habit from his parents. Nicotine helped him cope, along with the fuzzy feeling of alcohol gave him.

 

"Alex, hon-"

 

"Stop fucking babying him, Kat!" Steven raised his voice, cutting off his wife, making her jump in her seat. "Alex, I told you. The next time I caught you stealing from us, it wasn't going to end well."

 

"I didn't steal anything," Alex spoke in a monotonous voice, making his father scoff.

 

"You didn't? That's funny because," his father reached in his shirt pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes that Alex kept stashed in his room. He set them on the table in front of Alex, "I found these today. The pack your mother thought she lost yesterday. I knew I'd find them in your room."

 

Alex stayed quiet, looking anywhere but in his father's direction. He glanced over at his mother who looked just as nervous as he felt. Steven took another drag from his cigarette, blowing the smoke towards Alex as he stared at him with distaste.

 

"Pathetic. You can't even own up to it. I raised you better than that. At least your brother had some balls."

 

"S-Steve, can't we do this after dinner?.."

 

"You want me to wait!? I shouldn't even be feeding this little fuck right now!" he banged his fist on the table making Alex jump from fright. Steven looks back from his wife to Alex, pure hatred in his eyes. "Now you've gone and upset your mother. You fuck everything up."

 

Alex mustered up a bit of courage, glaring back at his father, "You're the reason she's upset, not me! You fucking psycho!"

 

As soon as those words left his lips, he knew he was fucked. He quickly got up from the dinner table, pushing it enough to knock his father's beer off. As he heard the bottle shatter against the floor he felt his father's hand grab his wrist. He just wasn't quick enough. He gripped his wrist so tight Alex thought it would snap.

 

"What did you call me?" Steven asked darkly, twisting Alex's arm at an unpleasant angle.

 

Alex bit down on his lip, not wanting to show his pain. But fuck, it hurt like hell. "N-nothing. I'm s-sorry."

 

"Sorry? Are you 'sorry'? You fucking liar. Since you want to steal my cigarettes. Here." Steven took the last drag off his cigarette before pulling Alex's arm to him.

 

"Steve don't!" Katherine shouted but stayed put. Scared that he'll hurt her too.

 

"D-don't! N-" Alex cut himself off with a muffled scream, using his other hand to cover his mouth as his father pushed the lit cigarette onto his forearm. The searing, hot pain from the embers brought tears to his eyes as he tried to pull his arm away from his father's grip.

 

Once the cigarette went out Steven lets go of his son, making him fall back onto the floor. Alex instantly brought his hand to his new wound, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

 

"Get out of my sight, you piece of shit."

 

\--

 

**Present day:**

 

Alex jolted awake, instantly bringing his hand to his left forearm where the scar from that night was. It hurt a bit but he knew it was from the nightmare he just had. By now his mind had registered the arms around his waist and the warmth against his back. He let out a sigh, relieved to know where he was.

 

"Alex, are you okay?" Jack's deep, sleep-laced voice asked from behind him. He must've woken him up.

 

"I am now..just a bad dream."

 

"Do you wanna talk about it?.." he asked his lover before gently taking his hand in his, soothingly running his thumb over Alex's.

 

"It's too long of a story," Alex started before turning over to face the man who brought him comfort, "Just stay like this with me?"

 

They locked eyes and Jack could see tears brimming Alex's tired ones. He just nodded his head, bringing him closer to his chest, "Of course. I'll stay."

 

Alex rested his forehead against the soft fabric of Jack's t-shirt, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. "You know..I've never felt this calm after a nightmare. I usually have a panic attack and can't fall back asleep. But with you I..I feel safe."

 

Jack couldn't help but feel guilty. Even though he wants nothing more than to protect this boy, he's going to end up hurting him. A heartbreaking sniffle broke him from his thoughts, "Hey, don't cry okay? I'm here, I'm not leaving."

 

Alex was terrified because he's slowly realizing that he **_really_ ** likes Jack. He's scared that once Jack finds out just how broken he truly is, he won't want to try and put him back together. Maybe he'll tell Jack about his dream tomorrow, he feels like he needs to open up to him about something. The only person he's ever opened up to is Aurora and, he was drunk then. _'Could I even do that sober?..'_

 

Jack brought his hand to Alex's soft head of hair, soothingly running his fingers through it, it calmed the thoughts in Alex's head. It broke Jack not knowing what was bothering Alex so much. The overwhelming feeling currently in his chest concerned him as well. He wants Alex to be happy, his smile is so beautiful, he wants to see it all the time. "Try to get some rest. You need it."

 

"Promise you'll be here when I wake up.." Alex's fear that he'll wake up alone surfaces, showing his insecurities.

 

"I promise."

 

Alex rests his head back against his chest, nervously draping his arm across Jack's waist. Wanting nothing more than to feel as close to him as possible. Listening to the steady rhythm of Jack's heartbeat, Alex slowly drifts back off to sleep.

 

Jack stays awake for a little longer, his mind racing with intrusive thoughts. He wants nothing more than to stay with Alex for as long as he can but, the gnawing thoughts lingering in the back of his head tried to convince him otherwise. The boy in his arms brought him the warmest feelings and he wanted to hang onto that. But no matter how much he wants them, he feels that he doesn't deserve them. In his eyes, he was a terrible person.

 

Hearing Alex mumbles in his sleep brought Jack to his senses. He smiled slightly at how cute the younger boy was, feeling a small sense of clarity for the first time that night. This is where Jack felt happy, he was realizing that now as he was content with gently running his fingers through Alex's soft head of hair. It was weird how he wanted to stay up just to make sure Alex slept fine the rest of the night. He cared too deeply for this boy but for once, he was okay with that.

 

\---

 

Sunlight peaked its way through the window blinds and invaded the bedroom. It didn't take long for the constant glare to irritate the young man's eyes and after several restless movements, Alex woke up. Rubbing his eyes, Alex yawned already wishing he could go back to sleep. The overall shit feeling the morning after drinking brings began to settle in and, he was in dire need of coffee. The man attempted to get out of bed but for some strange reason, something was stopping him. Frowning, he glanced down and noticed the arms that wrapped around his waist and suddenly it clicked; Jack was holding him. How Alex could have forgotten about last night was beyond him but he felt a smile form on his face and leaned back into the older man. _'This feels nice',_ he thought. Alex was much braver and honest with himself when he was intoxicated because now he felt nervous about the man beside him, he was not prepared at all for Jack to wake up. Sighing he closed his eyes and willed himself to relax, but the young man was too jittery and couldn't sit still. Several movements later Alex was a little surprised that Jack hadn't woke up, he hasn't moved an inch and that was for the better. Settling down once more Alex then felt a familiar poke behind him. Now, _this_ is something he could deal with. Alex moved his hips and pressed his ass against his bed partner's crotch becoming aroused by the hardening member pressing on him and suddenly he wanted the older man to rise from the dead he calls sleep and **fuck** him.

 

Alex felt the arms around him tighten before Jack's voice broke the rather silent room, "Good morning," it came out deep, riddled with sleep causing the younger man's breath to hitch.

 

"Good morning to you too," Alex greeted back.

 

"My dick is happy to see you," Jack chuckled.

 

"So I've noticed." Alex removed himself from his partner's hold and turned over to face the man. A small smile appeared on his face at the sight of Jack, his dark eyes half-lidded and searching into Alex, the man's brown tufts of hair stuck up in different directions, red strands curling. Jack was hot even in the morning. Alex was too busy staring at the man to realize that Jack was doing the exact same thing. The Lebanese man took in Alex's appearance, his cinnamon locks fell haphazardly in his face but Jack could still see his soft eyes staring back at him, the younger boy held this natural beauty to him.

 

Jack leaned forward with Alex soon following, their lips met and while Alex was positive he tasted like cheap booze he couldn't care less, not when Jack reaches his hand out to tangle itself in the boy's already messy hair. Alex could have whined when the man pulled apart just slightly, their lips brushed against each other as Jack spoke, " _I'm_ happy to see you." Alex blushed at those words, his own sense of happiness flooding through him, but besides that fuzzy feeling there was one of lust, and he felt the heat in all sorts of ways by Jack's comment. Alex grabbed a fistful of the other's shirt before he crashed their mouths together, the two men moved in sync and it wasn't long until he felt a tongue slide into his mouth, which was his cue to tug on Jack's shirt, leading the man on top of him.

 

It was Alex's turn to break away as he whispered Jack's words back: _"I'm happy to see you, too."_

\--

 

Perhaps it wasn't surprising to either man when they lost their clothing and molded their bodies closer together, sex was a natural response to them and, Alex looked perfectly content on his knees. Jack thread his hand through the younger boy's hair and threw his head back in ecstasy when his length thrust deeper into the boy's hot mouth. With one hand on the back of Alex's head, Jack guided his cock further into the wet heat gradually until the boy was successfully deep-throating him. "Shit," he grunted sliding out of his partner's throat and stilled, letting the younger man take a deep breath before he was sliding back inside, he repeated the action slowly at first, but when Alex swallowed and sputtered his eyes flashed upwards, a silent plea hidden behind those crystals. Jack complied, picking up the pace he swiftly bucked his hips forward. Tightening his hold on Alex's curls, he relished in the pleasure of fucking his mouth. "Fuck," Jack let out. "You have the prettiest cock sucking lips," he sighed, eyes cast downwards he watched as those pink lips stretched to accommodate his thick organ.

 

Alex tried his best to keep up with Jack's movements, he relaxed his throat as best as he could and allowed the older man to explore the depths of his mouth. The times when Jack wasn't shoving his cock down his tonsils he paid close attention the head, tongue lapping along the slit and the taste of pre-come had him closing his eyes, a low moan escaping, only to elect more pleasure to the older man. The more noises Alex made brought a tingling, vibrating sensation to Jack. So when Jack lifted Alex's head off of his manhood with a wet pop the brunette whined, saliva dripping from his bottom lip and his pupils wide. "Fuck me," Alex demanded, his voice rough and he sounded so _**used**_. Strong arms hauled him up, suddenly he was lying face down on his bed, and those hands now gripped his ankles, spreading them far apart. The young man shivered in anticipation when he sensed the bigger body behind him, soft touches trailed along his pale thighs and inched towards his ass. "Ah," he practically squeaked, not expecting a tongue to swipe at his hole. The next noise Alex made was somewhere between a high pitch moan and a needy whine, he melted into the mattress as soon as Jack's skilled tongue dug deeper. _"Fuck, fuck, fuck,"_ he chanted.

 

The man worked his way into the boy, flicking his tongue every so often. Jack groaned at the noises that left Alex's mouth. Pulling away slightly he eyed the puckered hole, while it glistened with saliva Jack concluded that the boy wasn't wet enough and he spits directly into the source before dipping a finger inside, slowly getting down to the knuckle. Jack kept up the motion of fucking his finger into Alex before hastily pulling away, "Your cunt is too tight," he murmured watching as the younger man blushed bright red, hiding his face into his pillow and, the older man left in search of lube.

 

"Hurry," Alex whined rutting against the bed, the silky sheets being far too soft for the friction he craved and with a huff, he reached down to palm his erection. Alex was lost in the pleasure of his own hand to notice when Jack came back, lube in hand, the older man watched as he jacked his cock which was sadly hidden from the man's view but, the curve of the boy's ass sticking out made up for that. Alex was startled when he felt the weight of another land on the bed, rolling over he came face to face with Jack who tossed the bottle of lube to him.

 

"I want to see you fuck yourself," Jack drawled, the request was blunt and it sent blood straight to Alex's cock. Without another word, Alex opened the cap and dropped a good amount of lube on to his fingers. Rubbing the substance between his fingers he casually spread his knees, one foot planted on the bed sheets, his hand crawled down his body in search of its target; one digit pressed against his entrance and sank in. Jack's attention was fully on the boy, dark eyes roamed over lean muscle and stray scars, but he paid no mind to the marks as he knew every soul has a hidden history and, instead watched as he now pumped two fingers inside of himself, beautiful cock leaking pre-cum.

 

 _"Daddy,"_ the twenty-three-year-old breathed out. "I need you."

 

"You're always so impatient," the older man chuckled, despite his own wants that settled in his mind, "What did I tell you before, baby?" He questioned. Alex looked up at him with a puzzled expression and answered with a pout. "I told you that your cunt is too tight, you need to stretch yourself a little more." All Jack wanted to do was pin Alex to the bed and thoroughly fuck him but, he urged the boy to continue.

 

After Alex made yet another sound that Jack wasn't sure how to describe. Three fingers now probed at his entrance, sliding in one by one, it wasn't long before those digits were pumping themselves inside. Alex's other hand found its way onto his cock, slick with lingering lube he alternated from slamming down on his fingers to thrusting into his hand. The brunette could have cried in joy when he saw Jack tear open a packet and rolled a condom on his length, eyes never leaving Alex's. "Fucking finally," he exclaimed.

 

Jack laughed, it had been a long time since he found himself having this much _fun_ during sex. After getting himself comfortable between Alex's legs he reached for the bottle of lube and gathered a reasonable amount and spread it over his latex length. Alex had four fingers inside of him now, they had been lazily digging in and out of the boy, and Jack grabbed hold of the arm, directing his hand away. "I get to fuck you now," he mumbled lining himself up against Alex's entrance, leaning forward he breached his way inside slowly until he bottomed out. Dragging his cock inside and out of the warm body beneath him Jack began to build up a rhythm and was soon hitting the boy's prostate with every other thrust. "All this and your cunt is still so _tight_ ," Jack growled in Alex's ear feeling more turned on by every breathy noise that escapes the boy's mouth.

 

"Harder," Alex prompted wrapping his legs around the older man's waist. The next moan that came out was low, more in-between a grunt and wail. Jack had delivered with a faster pace, cock shoving harder and the new position allowing for Jack to push deeper into him. "Oh god, so fucking good," Alex swore.

 

Jack followed through with his earlier thoughts and took hold of the boy's wrists, pinning Alex's hands on the bed he continued to fuck into the smaller body. "Jesus," he choked out, observing the way Alex's breath hitched and, the soft moan he let out after Jack tightened his hold on his wrists. "Did anyone ever tell you that you were born to take cock?" Jack's voice was deep and lustful, his hands increased the pressure on Alex's wrists to leave bruises.

 

The room was filled with the sound of flesh on flesh, Jack's cock pistoning in and out of Alex's wet heat, and the two men edging the other on with what could be considered crude comments. Alex's wrists felt sore and there was that familiar feeling deep inside of him that seemed to come and go when he was with the older man. He barely heard what was being said but the words _'slut'_ and _'princess'_ seemed to stick and he knew the older man was close so he wasn't surprised when Jack's hand created a vice grip on his cock and he knew wasn't going far behind. Alex spilled first over the other's hand and soon after Jack stilled, releasing inside of the condom. Jack didn't stay on top of Alex for too long, they were untangling limbs and once they were face to face, Jack smiled at Alex.

 

_"Hi."_

 

Alex had his own grin now.

 

_"Hi."_

 

Jack took a moment to admire the boy's smile, brushing a bit of his messy hair from his face. Alex couldn't help but blush from the intense look Jack was giving him, it gave him a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

 

"You have such a beautiful smile, I love it.." Jack admitted to the timid boy, gently rubbing Alex's cheek with his thumb.

 

That comment dumbfounded Alex, _'Beautiful?... He finds something about **me** beautiful?'_ He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, it was beating so hard.

 

"I really like you, Jack." Alex blurted out, unexpectedly, unable to stop himself in time. His eyes went wide realizing what he just confessed.

 

Jack felt a whirlwind of emotions, he was over the moon knowing Alex liked him but, at the same time he felt the guilt once again. He pushed those thoughts aside as he watched Alex's eyebrows knit together in worry. "I-I mean, I-"

 

Jack moved his hand from the side of Alex's face to place his pointer finger over his soft lips, cutting him off, "Lexy, shh, it's okay. I really like you too." he spoke softly, almost, lovingly.

 

The new nickname gave him butterflies, it may have been the same one his best friend used but, when Jack said it, his chest felt funny. _'He likes me?..'_

 

Alex closes the space between them, pressing his lips against Jack's. The two shared a kiss that felt different than any kiss that Alex had received, even the ones with Jack up until now. It was slow and sensual, with no intentions of turning into something else. For the first time in Alex's life he felt wanted, he finally had something to live for. And as much as that terrified him, he loved it.

 

Jack pulled away from Alex's lips just enough to talk, "You know what sounds great right now?" he asked before pressing another sweet kiss against his lover's soft lips, "Breakfast."

 

Alex softly giggled at him, realizing just how hungry he was, "Agreed."

 

\--

 

After they both hastily threw some clothes on, they made their way into the kitchen. Watching Alex put away the vodka bottle back in the fridge and throwing the empty beer cans from last night away, Jack made a mental note to ask him about how much he drinks. It wasn't uncommon for people with depression to turn to alcohol to cope, he knew that from personal experience.

 

They made breakfast together again, this time waffles instead of pancakes and, eggs were added to their bacon. Jack loved doing this, waking up and cooking breakfast with Alex, eating together and talking over a cup of coffee. It made him want to stay and cook dinner with him before bed. It made him want to **stay**.

 

\--

 

Alex was currently situated on the couch, waiting for Jack to come back, he had excused himself to the restroom a minute ago. Alex's mind was racing, he was thinking about the dream he had last night. It was a horrible memory from eight years ago that had been seared into his mind, almost literally.

 

His finger was mindlessly running over the scar on his left forearm, the one that came from his father's cigarette that night. It wasn't the only one, there was one below it too, along with another on his other arm. Not to mention the scars he gave himself, self-inflicted wounds from a razor were scattered along his thighs; they were easier to hide there. And the one he hated the most, a dark one that ran jaggedly across his right wrist. When he was seventeen; he attempted suicide but, he didn't cut deep enough. It taunts him every time he looks at it.

 

Jack walked back into the living room, returning to his spot next to Alex. He noticed him jump a little when he sat down like he was spacing out and didn't notice him walk back in the room. "You okay? You seem like you're somewhere else right now."

 

"That noticeable?" Alex asked, amazed at how well the older man can read him.

 

"I'm just good at reading people. What's bothering you?" Jack asked, hoping Alex would open up to him about anything.

 

"Well.. you know how I woke up in the middle of the night?" Alex asked mustering up a bit of courage, Jack just nodded, "I still get nightmares like I did when I was a kid but now, they're mostly bad memories."

 

"Bad memories?.."

 

"Um..I've never told anyone this, well except for Aurora but I was drunk then. I've never talked about this sober.." Alex admitted, starting to feel jittery from anxiety.

 

"It's okay, you can take as much time as you need." Jack took Alex's hand that was beginning to shake a bit from anxiety, letting their fingers laced together. "I'll listen to everything you need to get off your chest."

 

Jack's words put Alex mind at ease along with the feeling of his hand in his, "Remember when I said my family didn't like me? That's a major understatement. M-my dad he..he hates me. He's told me so lots of times." Alex paused, looking over he noticed that the older man was listening intently, "The dream I had last night was a memory from a night about eight years ago. My dad was always abusive to me and my brother, my brother was always there to protect me from the worst of it but.. in this memory he's- he's dead. He died when I was fourteen."

 

Alex had to stop to will tears to go away, failing miserably. He quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his left hand, his right one still being firmly held. Jack felt his heart break, seeing tears fall from the eyes he's come to admire. He let go of the younger boy's hand only to put his arm around his shoulders, bringing him closer.

 

The gesture calmed Alex down enough to continue with his story, "That night, I-I had stolen a pack of cigarettes from my parents and my dad had found where I stashed them in my room. When I wouldn't own up to it, he got furious. I mouthed off, calling him a 'psycho' and, I instantly knew I fucked up." he stopped talking, lifting his arm up, running his finger over the same scar as before, "H-he..he gave me this scar. He grabbed me by the wrist so I couldn't run away and burnt me with his cigarette.."

 

Jack felt angry, angry that someone could hurt their own children like that. Angry that someone hurt Alex. He had heard similar stories from different people that he worked with but never before did he feel like this.

 

Pushing his anger aside he focused his attention on the broken boy in his arms, "Alex, I'm so sorry.." he spoke softly before gently taking the boy's wrist in his grasp. He lifts his arm up a bit and presses a soft kiss against the scar. He lets his other hand run through Alex's soft head of hair in a soothing manner. "I wish I could make those bad memories go away.."

 

Alex felt his stomach do flips, he wasn't expecting such a positive reaction. He was so scared to open up to him but, now he doesn't understand why.

 

"I'm happy you told me, you know." Jack started, "Now I have a better idea of what's going on in that head of yours. I want you to know that if you ever need to talk about something, you can always talk to me."

 

That comment made Alex smile, Jack wanted to know more about him. He wanted Alex to confide in him. "You know," Alex started, leaning his head against Jack's chest, "when you're with me, you _do_ make the bad things go away. And..as much as I love it, it scares me. I don't want to lose this.." he admitted the constant fear that always remains. He's so scared that he'll lose the one thing that's brought him happiness in so long.

 

As Alex spoke, Jack realized one thing, he didn't want to lose this either. This is where he wanted to be, _this_ is where he felt happy. Why should he be forced to give it up for someone who doesn't give two shits about him? For someone who has done nothing but hurt him for **years**.

 

"I would stay here forever if you'd let me," Jack spoke softly as he runs his fingers through Alex's hair.

 

"..really?" Alex's voice sounded shocked like he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

 

"Really." Jack glanced at the clock on the wall, it was currently 12:34 P.M. Jack had to be at work at 3:00 and he was seriously considering calling in sick. "Well, I'll stay before I have to go to work. Or I could just say fuck it and stay here all day."

 

Alex laughed at the older man, shaking his head, "No, you should go to work. Someone might need you."

 

Alex's comment brought a smile to Jack's face, he always had doubts about his career choice but, hearing Alex say that gave him a bit more confidence in his profession. "Yeah, you're right."

 

"What time do you need to leave?" Alex asked, playing with the hem on Jack's shirt.

 

"Around 2:30, I have to be there at 3:00."

 

Alex looks up at him and smiles, "So we have time to eat lunch together?"

 

Jack smiles at Alex's cuteness, "You're already hungry? We ate like an hour ago."

 

"Your point being?.."

 

Jack laughs, giving in to the younger boy's request, "Okay, okay. I'm gonna get a quick shower first though."

 

Alex did a small victory fist pump, getting off the couch, they both walked into his bedroom. Alex took off the shirt he was currently wearing, "I'm gonna try and find clean clothes. Don't take too long."

 

Alex watched as Jack walked into the bathroom connected to his bedroom. He had a bubbly feeling in his chest as he traced the scar on his arm, where Jack had placed a soft kiss. That's all he could think about, it overpowered the memory from eight years ago and Alex had no problem with that.

 

He sat on the bed and fell back with a content sigh. For once, even though he was alone in the room, his mind felt relaxed. He had this stupid grin on his face that he couldn't get rid of and he loved it. He never knew that he could ever feel this happy yet, here he was experiencing it first hand.

 

After laying there for a few more minutes he wills himself to get up and get dressed for the day. Pulling on a pair of regular blue skinny jeans with a rip in the left knee, along with a Good Charlotte shirt and a black leather jacket. After pulling on a pair of beat up, red converse he began messing with his hair in the mirror hanging on his bedroom wall.

 

"Unruly sex hair looks good on you," Jack commented behind Alex with a smirk. Alex turned to see Jack standing behind him with a towel around his waist, hair still dripping water.

 

"What the hell, why is it that you can look hot no matter what? It's not fair." Alex whined a bit, admiring the Lebanese man.

 

"I'll take that as a compliment. And stop staring or we'll never make it to lunch." Jack commented as Alex eyed him lustfully.

 

Alex instantly became red, averting his eyes away from Jack's chest, "Right, right. I'll um..be in here."

 

Alex retreated to the bathroom, plugging in his hair straightener, trying his best to push his dirty thoughts away. After about five minutes of trying to fix his unruly hair, it looks fairly decent. But he still wants to cover it up.

 

Walking back into his bedroom, he sees that Jack is now halfway dressed. He was still shirtless, drying his hair and trying to make it look decent.

 

"Do you wanna borrow a clean shirt?" Alex asked as he retrieved a red beanie from one of his dresser drawers.

 

"That'd be great actually."

 

"They're in the second and third drawer. Take your pick." Alex walked back over to the mirror on the wall, positioning the beanie on his head perfectly. After fixing it just right, he turned, seeing Jack pull on one of his many black button-up shirts. He walks over to Jack and without saying a word he starts helping him with the buttons on the shirt.

 

"Black looks good on you, especially when the shirt's mine." Alex smiled at the older man, feeling rather domesticated.

 

Jack smiles at the shorter boy, not stopping him from fastening all the buttons on his shirt. Once Alex was finished, he lifted his head up, his eyes meeting Jack's. Jack had this look that Alex couldn't describe, it was intense and it made warmth spread throughout his body but, not in a sexual way. It was the same look Jack gave him before he stupidly blurted out his feelings.

 

"Y-you're looking at me weird again.." Alex almost whispered, his cheeks dusted pink. He wasn't used to affectionate looks and, he didn't quite understand the way Jack was looking at him. All he knew was that it gave him uncontrollable butterflies.

 

"I can't help it, everything you do makes me happy... And you're not the only one it scares, it scares me too." Jack spoke honestly to the man in front of him, giving him a loving smile, "I haven't smiled this much in a long time."

 

"..I've never smiled this much." Alex started before shaking his head lightly, "Come on, if we start talking about mushy stuff, I'll start crying. Then we'll never make it lunch."

 

Jack laughed softly, "I see where your priorities are."

 

"Food. Duh."

 

\---

 

Alex and Jack were situated in a booth in the back of local pizza place. They were both indecisive about where to go but eventually agreed on pizza, _'When in doubt, pizza it out.',_ Alex recalled blurting out the stupid quote that he and Aurora used frequently. Before he could even regret the cringe-y phrase, Jack had started laughing. Alex found himself loving the sound of that laugh.

 

Alex gazed across the table at the older man, they were currently eating in silence. It was a comfortable silence that you don't come by often. Silence normally brought the younger boy anxiety but, not when he's with Jack. Alex felt peace in his presence. But, it still bothered him that someone as great as the man across from him bothered with getting to know him. Suddenly, Alex felt the need to address his current thoughts. Just one question that bugged him to no end, one he's been itching to ask.

 

"Can I ask you something?" Alex soft voice broke the silence.

 

"Of course," Jack answered before taking a brief sip of his soda.

 

The shorter boy took a deep breath before speaking, "Why are you wasting your time with me?.."

 

"Where did that come from? I don't think I'm wasting time."

 

"No one has ever..," Alex paused for a moment, trying come up with a proper word, " _treated_ me like you do. It's just, hard to think that someone actually **likes** me."

 

That comfortable silence was no more, Alex could feel as the situation grew tense with each second that passed. Jack was no longer looking in the younger man’s direction; instead, his attention was focused on the slice of pizza in front of him as he nervously picked the pepperoni's away.

 

“You know what,” Alex all but whispered. “I think that maybe I should go.”

 

Jack’s head snapped towards Alex at that, the two stared at one another and Alex was all but _begging_ with his eyes for the other man to say something. Alex truly didn’t want to leave, he had a deep desire to be _**wanted** _ but, he held his tongue and gave Jack another chance to speak.

 

“I don’t have all the answers,” Jack sighed. “Alex, from what I know about you is that you’re an incredible person that’s been through hell and you didn’t deserve that. I want to get to know you better, I want to continue going on these dates or whatever they are and, I just want to be around you,” he admitted.

 

When Alex asked that question he wasn’t set on what kind of reply he was aiming for, certainly not this but the honesty in Jack’s voice spoke volumes to him. Rather than speaking, Alex cautiously set his hand on the table and glanced at Jack. There was a moment where everything made sense, Jack set his hand atop of Alex’s and squeezed.

 

It was Alex who eventually broke the speechless trance, he gave Jack a sheepish smile and said in a rather shy tone, “I want that too.”

 

It was a milestone in their relationship, both men could agree on that. There was no clear solution to the inner demons they faced or magic cure for their reckless thoughts, but as the two moved towards a lighter topic small grins plastered across their faces and careless laughs echoed passed through their own worries.

 

Time moved by quickly and after Alex assured Jack that he didn’t need a ride back to his apartment Jack leaned in for a quick kiss and reluctantly left for work. Alex was left with a flutter in his chest and tingle on his lips, and he let a smile grace his face as he briefly wondered if this is what falling in love was like.

 

Somewhere miles down the road Jack was waiting for the light to turn green and it was as if a light bulb had shattered when his words to Alex replayed in his head, _‘I just want to be around you.’_ Slamming his fist against the steering wheel he let out a loud ‘fuck’ and suddenly he wasn’t so sure about anything anymore which, to be fair, is a normal occurrence. There was no doubt in Jack’s mind that he wanted to try a relationship with Alex, the younger man had planted a seed somewhere deep in his chest, and with time those flowers will blossom beautifully in his heart. But somewhere in the back of his mind lies Evan, every moment he spent with Alex his boyfriend lurked, secretly watching the two act as if they were old lovers with a sneer on his face. Jack could envision a life with Alex, no matter how early things maybe he longed to protect and love the boy, and then there was Evan, the man he latched on to years ago but god they have a history together, he panics at the idea of erasing what they had.

 

Jack Barakat could only think of himself as one word and that was utterly _**fucked**._


	7. Crying In The Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is basically an aurora centric chapter because alex and jack's besties put up with so much tbh so be prepared to learn more about these sidekicks and their hardships in upcoming chapters. i love all of these characters it's not even funny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk this story's formatting is over the place now and it's awkward as hell but i'm far too lazy to do anything about it
> 
> also idk how i missed some dialogue when i posted it, so i edited it so if ya want you can reread but i'll be honest it's not that important, but then again is because it's a stepping stone to more drama that's brewing

Once Alex got home, his mind was racing. He needed someone to talk to about everything he's been feeling. Being desperate he musters up the courage to call Aurora, even though he hates calling first. Just to his luck, it went to voicemail. _'She's probably still at work.'_ He thought.

"Rora, call me when you get off. I need you to come over. I really need to talk to you. It's important. Pleaassee." he hung up the phone, hoping it sounded desperate enough.

Alex had an endless amount of questions to ask his friend and he needed answers. Aurora called back about thirty minutes later and told Alex she'd be over in ten minutes.

 

\--

 

Alex was sitting on his sofa when he heard a knock on the front door. He quickly got up and answered, seeing his redheaded best friend.

"Hey bud, is something wrong?" She asked, always fearing the worse when it comes to phone calls like that.

He moved out of her way so she could walk in the small apartment, "I'm fine, I just. I need your help with something. Well, I need you to help me figure out some things."

"Ooh, sounds important. I'm honored." Aurora says with a smile. "First thing's first, I desperately need a drink. My life has been utter hell recently, I'll tell you about when I'm drunk, I'm sure."

Alex looked at his best friend with sympathetic eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, Lex. I'll be fine after I vent a little. But, you're first." She spoke as she walked to the kitchen, Alex following behind her. She opens the refrigerator, grabbing the bottle of rum that resided in the back, behind the milk.

Alex watched as Aurora got two shot glasses from the cupboard over the coffee pot, knowing where everything's at like she lives here. She practically does when she's having a rough week.

He let out an exhausted sigh, "I don't even know where to start or, how to start."

"Okay, let me help you out. Is this about that cute boy, Jack that came to see you the other day at work?" Aurora asked before pouring and taking a shot.

Alex could feel the warmness radiating from his cheeks, "Yeah. I think I like him way more than I should…” The sentence trailed off.

"You say it like it's a bad thing. I think it's great that you feel like this. It's good for you." Aurora spoke in a reassuring tone.

"I've probably told you how I've never really slept in the same bed as someone, mainly because I never allowed myself to get close to anyone. He's staying over at least once a week. I've never gotten this close to someone and I'm scared because I don't want him to get bored of me.” After he rushed all of that out, he reaches across the table for the bottle. He pours himself a shot and quickly tosses it back, the familiar sting put his nerves at ease.

"I know what you mean, bud. You're falling for this guy and it feels like it could be snatched away in a heartbeat. That feeling doesn't really go away because the more time you spend with them, your feelings grow stronger and that feeling of doubt is more intense." Aurora started to explain, drifting off towards the end. "I've felt like that before and it didn't really end well for me."

"What happened?" Alex asked his friend sitting across the small table.

"I don't really want to tell you, you seem so happy and I don't want to plant anymore doubt in your mind," she stated before taking another shot.

Alex frowned at his friend, "Okay, your turn. Why has life been hell recently?"

Aurora let out a sigh, glancing over at Alex before fixing her gaze on the table, "It's kind of stupid and embarrassing. I started talking to that girl Jasmine. But, I found out a couple days ago she's actually got a boyfriend and she was just looking for fun. I know it's stupid but, she was the first person that showed any interest in me since my big break up. I really liked her, it wouldn't have been so bad if she wouldn't have to lead me on for weeks."

Tears were threatening to fall from the girl's eyes as she hurriedly wiped them away with her jacket sleeve. She opted out on the shot glass and took a swig straight from the bottle. "Why do people suck, Alex?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this? You know it's not good for you to keep things bottled up like this."

"You've been so happy recently. Who am I to bring you down with my problems?.." She wiped under her eyes again, sniffling.

Alex was honestly a bit shocked by her answer. He would vent to her day in and day out when he was depressed and she would just sit and listen to his every word. Yet, she's worried that her problems will bring him down.

"Rora, you're my best friend. Whether I'm happy or depressed you can always talk to me, I'm always going to be here for you."

Tears filled her eyes again but, this time for a better reason as a small smile lingered on her face, "Thanks Lexy, It's still hard for me to open up about things."

Aurora never really had a friend until she met Alex. Well she's had plenty of people who would use her because she liked to help people but, as soon as she needed someone they'd be gone. So, actually having someone who's here to listen is still a little strange to her, even after a year of friendship.

"I know but, I've got something that might help." Alex gets off from his seat and walks across the kitchen.

"More alcohol?" Aurora asks as she takes another swig.

"Something better," he states as he pulls a baggie of Mary Jane from a jar that was situated on the top shelf in the cupboard above the stove.

"Ah, this is why we're friends. You break out your secret stash for me. I'm loved."

"You're damn straight you're loved. You know you're like my sister right?" Alex brought his pipe and stash over to the table before sitting back down.

Aurora smiles at her friend, "Mhm, and you're like my brother. Well, you're better than my brother. My real brother is a selfish asshole."

Alex began prepping the pipe, the hash already being ground to perfection, he packs the bowl. "You know, you've never really told me about your family."

"Well, my home life was pretty bad. My dad was absolutely insane but, thankfully he left when I turned ten. But then my mom turned into the monster, picking up drugs again when I was twelve," she glances over at Alex, "I'm only going to tell you this, I don't trust anyone else with this kind of information."

"Okay, my lips will stay shut. Not even the strongest of alcohol could break them open. Pinky swear." Alex held out his pinky for his friend, making her playfully roll her eyes and hook her pinky with his.

"I'm holding you to that." she gave Alex a playful smile before ushering him to take the first hit from the pipe. He hurries and does as he's told before passing it to Aurora.

After taking a hit and holding it for a few seconds, she exhales, "We should go out tonight. Mainly I really want to go out and try and have a little fun but, I need someone to watch my back."

"True, you do need someone there to make sure you don't go home with some creep. Remember that guy from the last time we went out?"

"Ohmygod, how could I not?" Aurora started, laughing a bit, "He wouldn't leave me alone. He was so drunk I could barely understand what he was saying. He was so damn persistent, even when you stepped in and told him you were my boyfriend. He tried to fight you, and fell flat on his face."

They were both laughing now at the memory, recalling that eventful night like it was yesterday. After coming down from the laughing high, Aurora passed the pipe to Alex and, put the lid back on the rum.

"No more drinking until we get to the bar. But weed is okay." she smiled before getting up, putting the bottle back in the fridge, and the shot glasses in the sink. As she walked back to her seat she spoke, "You know, I'm already feeling better. Promise that you won't stop hanging out with me now that you found someone that makes you happy. Our friendship has mostly been based on our loneliness. Sorry, that was weird of me to ask. Just ignore me."

Alex looked over at his best friend with a shocked expression but, he understood where she was coming from. "I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me for life. Deal with it."

And with that, Aurora laughed, shaking off the worries she had before.

 

\--

 

Nine Lives was more on the side of being a club rather than a bar, inside was dark save for the shimmering colorful strobe lights and bodies glided on the dance floor in sync with the upbeat pop song blaring through the speakers. Although it was somewhat crowded Aurora managed to drag Alex towards the bar while she found searched for an empty table for the pair and silently cheered when she came across one. Aurora sat down on the bar seat and placed her handbag on the counterpart before reaching for her phone. Unlocking her phone she then sighed at the complete lack of notifications but instead of dwindling on that she pulled up _Twitter_ and scrolled through her feed before coming to a halt on a thumbnail of three puppies and she instantly fell in love with the chocolate Labradors playfully wrestling together.

“Hey,” a deep voice cut through the yapping pups.

Aurora turned her attention to the young man in front of her, he was tall with dirty blonde locks tousled atop, and olive toned eyes that shun with excitement. Aurora glanced around her surroundings and came up short, she turned her attention back to the guy, “hi,” and _oh gosh_ , she’s sure that she looks awkward right about now.

He laughed but it wasn’t meant to be in mocking gesture, instead, this man looked downright amused and playful. “I apologize if I startled you,” he spoke after taking a drink of the cup he had in hand. “I couldn’t help myself from talking to such a pretty girl,” he continued.

Aurora knew she must be blushing, she could feel her face heat up and a flutter of happiness run through her due to the flattering man. She smiled, “I’m sure there are a lot of other pretty girls here.”

The man shrugged, “maybe so but you’re the one that has my interest, only if you want that is.”

The young woman contemplated her next move, she and Alex were on an agreement that they would not hook up with anyone that night, not to mention Aurora was in no hurry to land herself in someone else’s bed so soon after the Jasmine fiasco. Peeking around she spotted her friend still at the bar, therefore, she decided to go with it and introduce herself to this guy because hey, he was pretty fucking hot okay and a little friendly chat never hurt. “I’m Aurora.”

Smiling he held out his hand for Aurora to shake, “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Evan.” He motioned his hand towards to the empty seat across from the girl, “do you mind?”

“Oh no,” Aurora replied. “You could seat as long as you like. Well not really, it’s not like I’m shooing you away it’s just that I’m here with my friend and he’s getting us drinks now,” she could feel herself babbling.

Once again Evan just smiled, “that’s fine I’m actually here with a friend of mine too, although I lost him about twenty minutes ago. Next time I’ll be sure to bring a leash for him.”

Aurora snorted, it was an honest to gosh snort. “I’m not sure who would needs to be on a leash more, me or my friend Alex.”

Evan allowed his eyes to rake over the girl’s body, he was nowhere near bashful about checking Aurora out. “I have money on who I’d like to see,” he grinned against his cup and took a drink. He pulled away and held out the plastic cup to Aurora, “want some?”

Aurora threw all precaution out of the window as she leaned over and closed her lips around the straw, taking a slow sip she shifted an inch to give the best possible view of her cleavage. “Thanks,” she bit her lip and teasingly drew away. Aurora watched as the man shifted, eyes lingering on her chest and she had to give herself props, this was going much better than she expected.

Evan and Aurora introduced themselves head on and had crossed the line of just friendly a few times but as the minutes passed the two stumbled upon the topic of manga and were now discussing their favorite graphic novels.

“Tokyo Ghoul is by far the best manga out there,” Aurora concluded. “The anime isn’t as good but it’s still pretty awesome.”

“I can’t argue with that,” Evan agreed. “

Aurora was actually having a good time with this man granted that she’s only known him for a few minutes, but it was still nice to talk to somebody and laugh with them as if she wasn’t on the brink of her own self-destruction.

“Hey Aurora, I was looking for you.”

 The woman was slightly startled by the sight of her friend Alex who held two frozen drinks in hand. “Hey Alex,” Aurora eventually got out. “That was a long line.” She heard a low chuckle next to her and Aurora just knew that if she turned towards Evan she would be rewarded with his teasing grin and playful eyes. She wasn’t sure why that thought seemed so familiar and inviting. 

Alex gave the girl a pointed look, eyes drifting towards Evan he raised an eyebrow while a slow grin appeared on his face.

“I’ll take that as my cue to go,” Evan announced after a beat. “Can I see that?” He locked eyes with Aurora as he pointed towards her phone.

“Oh, sure,” Aurora answered placing her thumbprint on the home button and unlocked the device before handing it to Evan. She watched as he quickly navigated through her phone and after typing some things handed it back to her.

“It was nice chatting with you Aurora and if you ever want to meet up you could shoot me a text,” Evan stood up and flashed a smile to the strawberry blonde. “I really need to make sure my friend hasn’t blacked out yet,” he chuckled and left to find said friend.

“And that was?” Alex started as soon as the other man was out of sight.

“His is name is Evan,” Aurora answered taking one of the frozen drinks and sucked through the straw. “He’s just some guy, we literally met like ten minutes ago, fifteen tops.”

“Mhm,” Alex hummed around his own straw. “He was pretty hot."

“Only pretty hot?” Aurora repeated. “That guy was gorgeous.” She eyed Alex as he continued to drink and shrugged in response. “Oh let me guess, he’s nowhere near as gorgeous as Jack is.”

The brunette visibly flushed. “I’m not saying that’s true but Jack is well, Jack.”

“Oh, so he’s the Jack of all trades now?” Aurora joked causing the two to laugh loudly.

Alex rolled his eyes afterward, “this is one of the reasons we will always be friends because I cannot leave you alone anywhere.”

Aurora gasped, “How rude. You know that you would just miss my awesomeness,” she laughed lightly around her straw. Taking a lengthy drink in hopes of drowning her insecurities she mentally forced herself to not ruin the night, they were both having a good time.

Alex stared at Aurora until she eventually locked eyes with him, he gave her a small yet kind smile and replied; “well, of course, I would miss your awesomeness as you word it though I’d like to call it your nerdiness. Rora, you are my best friend ever and I’ve never had something like that before but I would never leave you, especially for a guy. I thought we went over this but I’ll tell you again, you are stuck with me for life baby.”

Aurora tried to mask her doubts she expressed earlier but as the night went on it suddenly struck her, if her fears were true then times like this were going to be even more few in-between before her best friend became nothing but a memory. And although Alex had told her that he wouldn’t abandon the young woman it was nice to hear a reassurance.

“You’re my best friend too Alex,” Aurora said with her own smile. “I am honored to be glued together for all of the entirety.”

“Oh my gosh,” Alex laughed. “You are so weird.”

Aurora raised an eyebrow, eyes gleaming with humor she brought her cup up to her lips and took a drink, and Alex just knew that was code for _‘I have reasons to believe that you’re weird, too.’_

 

_\--_

 

The two friends continued the night with more drinks and laughter before Alex nearly dragged Aurora to the dancefloor. Aurora wrapped her arms around Alex’s shoulders and nearly doubled over in laughter when she felt him place his hands on her hips and squeezed.

“You like that?” Alex joked and she giggled.

“Are you my real prince charming? With all your understanding and gayness?”

There was no verbal response, instead, Alex held her tighter and the two began to move in sync, or at least as much as they could during their buzz filled minds and clumsy moves, but gosh it was so much fun.

“Oh my gosh this is my song!” Aurora shouted over the loud music. She lifted her hand close to her face then moved it around in a waving motion, Aurora nodded her head along to the beat and quietly sang along.

 

\-- 

 

After dancing to a few more songs the pair decided on more drinks, this time Alex wandered off to find them a seat while Aurora waited for the bartender to notice her which seemed frugal at this point. She knew that it was going to sometime before she was served if she took in the small group of people surrounded by the bar in addition to how long it took Alex.

 _“Oh,”_ a feminine voice taunted her. Aurora cringed at the recognition of the speaker as she continued, “hi Aurora,” and well _duh_ , of course, she knows that it was Aurora or why else would she say anything.

Aurora slowly turned around to face Jasmine, the girl she’s been moping about and reasoning for a ‘girls night out' with Alex. Jasmine was dressed in acid jean shorts with fishnets underneath, a black _Metallica_ crop top finished off with combat boots and dark makeup, the other girl towered over her and if this were only a few short days ago Aurora knew she would be flustered by the attractive woman, but no matter how hot she looked the woman left a pang of hurt deep in her chest and an itch of annoyance because Jasmine was acting so damn casual, Aurora thought.

“Hi Jasmine,” Aurora hoped that her true feelings weren’t showing.

Jasmine gave the girl a look over and smiled cheekily, “don’t you look good.”

“You do not get to say that to me,” Aurora glared. “Shouldn’t you be looking for another girl to screw over? Or better yet why don’t you go and find your boyfriend?”

The taller girl sighed and rolled her eyes. “Come on princess, don’t be like that….”

 ** _“Don’t,”_ ** Aurora hissed stepping closer. “Don’t fucking call me that ever again.”

Jasmine held up her hands in mock surrender. “Okay fine. I know I didn’t tell you that I had a boyfriend and that was pretty fucked up but I didn’t lie about anything else. I do really like you and I think that you like me too.”

With her lips sealed in a straight line and glaring eyes, Aurora held her stance, that was until Jasmine suddenly moved and instantly the younger girl leaned down to capture Aurora’s lips with hers. Everything in Aurora told her that this wasn’t a good idea, there was a big sign in front of her with the words **STOP** written in black, but she paid that warning no mind as she leaned forward and deepened the kiss. Aurora’s breath hitched at the feeling of Jasmine’s hands land on her hips, the grip was firm and before she knew it there was a tongue slipping into her mouth. Whether she meant to or not she easily accepted the gesture, her arms made their way to Jasmine's waist and her thumb glided across the patches of skin that were uncovered. Aurora felt a hand leave her hip to rest on her butt, and despite the moan, she knows she let out when she felt that hand squeeze she brought her arms forward and pushed Jasmine off of her, distancing herself from the woman. “We shouldn’t be doing this,” Aurora reminded herself and Jasmine.

“It doesn’t have to end like this,” Jasmine spoke huskily. “You could come back with us, maybe have a little fun.”

 _“Us?”_ Aurora repeated.

Jasmine bites her lip with a grin. “I’m sure my boyfriend would like you.”

Aurora stood there shell-shocked for a moment, the invitation to a threesome didn’t waiver her, she’s had her fair share of sexual experiences, but she’s sure that this isn’t how one should ask such a delicate question. “Are you insane?” 

“I think that you’d like him too,” Jasmine teased. Her mood dropped at the frown she received, sighing she ran a hand through her hair and tried again: “I’m sorry Aurora I’ve been nothing but a bitch and you are just one cool chick,” she apologized yet the girl couldn’t help the small smile that graced her face.

Aurora’s tough stature began to falter once again but she stubbornly held her ground and scoffed.

“What do you want?” Jasmine asked nodding towards the bar. “I’m buying.”

“I am not hooking up with you and your boyfriend.”

“Call it an apology.”

Aurora gave Jasmine a tedious look, she was wary of the other girl but after an uncomfortable pause she spoke, “two gin and cranberries.” She was in no way forgiving Jasmine nor did she have any intentions in talking to the woman ever again.

Nether less Jasmine smiled and moved closer to the bar with Aurora in tow. “Hey Mike,” she shouted over the music to the bartender.

Aurora rolled her eyes then proceeded to survey the room as Jasmine continued her chit-chat with the bartender. The neon lightning and loud bubblegum pop music were beginning to bother her, or maybe the other woman was the reason for a headache that suddenly appeared. Aurora brought her pointer fingers to her temple and massaged the agitated area; tonight is fun, Aurora repeated in her head. Do not let this girl get to you. Don’t let her ruin your night.

“Are you okay?” A voice broke Aurora out of her mantra.

“I’ll be better once I get my drink,” she responded dryly.

The younger girl raised an eyebrow but decided against speaking and instead handed over the small tray that held the gin and cranberries as well as six shot glasses and a sex on the beach. “Like I said let’s call this an apology,” Jasmine said when she noticed the look the other girl gave her.

Aurora took the tray gratefully, “thanks,” and with one last look, she awkwardly walked away. Once Aurora was sure that she was out of Jasmine’s view she quickly took one of the shots, glad for tequila that burned her on the insides, it seemed to match her mood.

 

\--

 

By the time she downed her third shot Aurora was sure that she had circled the club twice with no luck in finding her friend. Huffing she pulled out her phone to dial Alex’s number only to find two unread text messages and one missed call from the man in question. “Oh,” she mumbled calling back.

“Aurora!” Alex’s voice shouted over the phone.

“Sorry,” Aurora said. “The line was sooo long and now I can’t find you.” Which wasn’t a lie.

After a few minutes, Aurora was able to find the table with help from Alex, sighing she sat down.

Alex frowned at the sight of the girl. “What’s wrong?”

Aurora placed the drinks on the table and immediately began working on her sex on the beach. “Nothing,” she replied after a moment but Alex gave her a look that said he didn’t buy the lie. “Can we just have a good time?” She sighed. “I really don’t feel like talking about it.”

The answer only made Alex frown harder but he nodded his head and took a drink. “We don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to.”

Despite her attempts it looked as if the mood had changed, Aurora was lost in the depths of her mind and the clutter of emotions draining through her, but still, she smiled at Alex’s concerned glances. Throwing her head back Aurora took another shot and told herself to calm down, tricked herself into believing that the poison trickling down her throat and burning her insides were helping.

 

 --

 

The pair continued to drink and in time things were back on track, the alcohol running through their system had the friends making jokes and giggling into their hands. By the time they made it back to the dancefloor the two were much sloppier than before but the smiles on their faces only grew with each drunken step.

“I love this song!” Both Aurora and Alex hollered.

 

**_‘Damn, my AP goin’ psycho, lil’ mama bad like Michael_ **

**_Can’t really trust nobody with all this jewelry on you’_ **

****

They loudly sang along to the music playing.

****

**_‘You stuck in the friend-zone, I tell that four-five the fifty aye’_ **

 

Aurora and Alex shouted back at each other with their hands making the finger-gun motion. It couldn’t exactly be described as dancing anymore, just fast pace steps and hand motions that didn’t even coordinate with the bass.

“Watch where you’re going!”  Somebody scoffed pushing Aurora out of the way causing the young woman to land on the ground.

“What the hell is your problem?” Alex spat once he helped Aurora up.

“Lex,” Aurora put on a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “It’s fine.”

“This prick pushed you, that is not fine,” he hissed.

Those words were enough for the man to turn his attention back on the friends, a sneer plastered on his face that soon turned into a small smirk.

“Fuck” Aurora muttered a little too loudly. Her night kept on getting better and better, the young woman thought bitterly to herself. She was sure that her problems rose with the conversion she had with Jasmine earlier, but the tall man in front of her had Aurora rethinking her decision to come out in the first place.

“Cody,” Aurora noted in a flat tone.

“Well well,” Cody taunted. “Who do we have here?”

Alex was glaring at the man, Cody, whose height and overall bigger build did nothing to intimidate him, Alex stepped closer. “Why don’t you fucking watch where you’re going?”

“Your friend was in the way.” It was said in such a cold demeanor that Aurora couldn’t help but frown, her breathing picked up as she stared into those dark blue eyes. 

“Alex,” she practically whispered tugging on his hand. “Let’s just go.”

**_“No.”_ **

“Alex-,”

“He’s a fucking asshole,” Alex screamed. “Do you hear me, Cody? You. Are. An. Asshole,” he pointed his finger at the man. “And Aurora deserves better than you!”

The room was spinning far too much for Aurora, the bubbly feeling drifted away as soon as she came face to face with her ex-boyfriend and she was holding in the bile that threatened to come out. She didn’t hear Cody’s reply or even what Alex said after that, years of happiness crept into the back of her mind, memories played out like a movie and the feeling of hurt and betrayal flooded back, but there was also this boiling hot anger that she never allowed herself to let out.

“Fuck you,” Aurora cut through the boy’s splat. “Fuck you, Cody! I did everything for you and you treated me like shit!” A corkscrew had opened a bottle of emotions that were sealed for too long and now there was no going back. “I used to blame myself,” she said sadly. “I thought that I must have done something wrong, but it’s not my fault that I had a cheating piece of shit as a boyfriend. The only thing that I did wrong was fall in love with a liar.”

“But I’m done blaming myself for someone else’s mistakes. You are the one that fucked up your chances with a girl that actually gave a shit about you.”

“Hell yeah,” Alex agreed. “My girl is on fire.”

Aurora smiled a little smugly despite herself and stalked towards Cody. “You don’t get to push me around anymore.”

It was hard to read Cody’s face, his lips were held in a thin line and his eyes that once held love and security were blank. Aurora could hardly recognize the man in front of her, it’s been too long since she’s seen the guy she fell for. She stood there for a second debating on whether she should leave or not, it didn’t look as if Cody was going to respond and maybe that was for the better, but part of her, a rather large part was upset over the fact that this didn’t seem to faze him. Aurora yearned for some type of reaction.

“Hey babe, I was looking everywhere for you. Mike outdid himself with this new drink, it has-“the woman paused at Cody’s side. “Aurora?”

Cody looked between the two women and furrowed his eyebrows. “You know each other?” He asked slowly clearly in distaste.

Aurora watched Cody and Jasmine interact, how Cody held the girl’s hand possessively, the way Jasmine placed her free hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. The two seemed to be holding a silent yet an intimate conversation with one another and Aurora’s heart crumbled as the two communicated with such ease. Jasmine leaned into Cody’s shoulder to whisper something in his ear and Aurora could almost picture the times when she and Cody shared such secrets, laughing at their own inside jokes.

“Did you know?” Aurora croaked out. “Jasmine, did you fucking know about me and Cody?” The other girl pulled away from Cody, blinking at Aurora she made no move to answer. “Well?” Aurora threw her hands up. “Are either of you going to say anything?”

“Aurora c’mon,” Alex urged. “Fuck them, they deserve each other.”

Alex grabbed Aurora’s hand and begun tugging her away, words were spilling out of his mouth about how _‘amazing’_ and _‘better off’_ Aurora was without them. The woman didn’t believe any of that, she barely listened anyways.

“Aurora, wait!” Jasmine pushed through the crowd to catch up with the girl.

“Don’t even bother,” Alex rolled his eyes not stopping in his efforts.

“Now you want to talk?” Aurora angrily ripped her hand from Alex’s to face the girl.

“I’m just telling you to stay the fuck away from my boyfriend,” Jasmine laughed. “Not that I really have anything to worry about, I mean you are an ex for a reason, right?”

“Yeah, because Cody can’t keep it in his fucking pants. I don’t want him,” Aurora assured. “Have fun with my leftovers.”

The look on Jasmine’s face was priceless, the grin she usually wore was pulled into a scowl and her face tinted pink with embarrassment. Jasmine huffed, quickly moving into action she raised her cup and threw it towards Aurora; her smirk soon vanished at the rush of cold that enveloped her and she let out a shocked gasp.

_“You did not.”_

“Did you ever think that he just didn’t want you? Maybe you’re just not good enough for him.” Jasmine finished with her signature smile. The strawberry blonde watched Jasmine walk away, her boots practically stomping on the tile and a hop in her step.

 

 --

 

Aurora could feel the sticky sweet substance cling to her curls as it dripped down her face. The room was no longer booming, swarms of bodies disappeared, and Aurora was on the brink of collapsing. The young woman was moving, she knew that for a fact but how she couldn’t be certain; Aurora sat on the lonely sidewalk and allowed the crisp air to dry her tears.

Somewhere in the distance Alex kept an eye on his friend, worry lines indented and hate raging within him, but he put that aside and held his phone up to his ear and silently prayed for an answer.

The hours between **12 A.M**. and **6 A.M.** had this funny way of making a person feel as if they were on top of the world or under it, and as the clock hit **1:45 A.M.** Aurora hadn’t a clue where she fell. Wrapping her arms around herself she let out unsteady breaths as her bottom lip trembled; Aurora tilted her head towards the midnight sky, it was a shame that the city lights blocked out the beautiful stars.

Aurora noted the presence behind her, not moving an inch she continued staring at the starless sky with a blank expression. “Why aren’t there any stars? It’s like ice cream without any sprinkles.”

Alex cracked a tiny smile at the comparison before glancing up at the sky himself. “Stars are pretty neat.”

“It’s not fair.”

Sitting down next to the distraught girl, Alex brought her into his arms and gently stroked the dampened hair when Aurora nestled closer.

“I called Jack,” Alex spoke in a hushed voice. “He’s coming to pick us up.”

Heartaches could not be avoided, nighttime cannot come until sunset, and one day every being on Earth will die, it was as simple as that. Until now Aurora didn’t realize that it was possible to experience the same heartbreak years later from a relationship that withered away long ago. This was not a lesson that she cared to learn. But staring at the night sky, bare and lonely, she was hypnotized by the stillness around her. And after a beat, “okay.”

Aurora and Alex held their tongue, eyes glued above them and warmth radiating from one another. The two sat on the sidewalk and waited for Jack to arrive, it wasn’t the ending either expected from their night out and while things didn’t turn out, Alex was preparing himself for what the morning brought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk this story's formatting is over the place now and it's awkward as hell but i'm far too lazy to do anything about it
> 
> also idk how i missed some dialogue when i posted it, so i edited it so if ya want you can reread but i'll be honest it's not that important, but then again is because it's a stepping stone to more drama that's brewing


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